Out of the Ashes
by UED709
Summary: When Claire McLeod receives the news that Peter Johnson has hired out hitmen, she has to flee Gungellan...  Crossover between 4 tv show/ short films/ movies... very much for mature audiences
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys, heres my next story: I decided to have some fun mixing story lines and molding them into one big story so i hope i did the following shows: McLeods Daughters, Stingers, Crossbow and Coffin Rock justice. I DONT OWN ANY THING PEOPLE, i just wanted to write it to widen my writing style, IM NOT MAKING ANY MONEY FROM THIS WHAT SO EVER. **

**hope you enjoy and please review :)**

**Rating:**MA +15 (Strong sexual references, Drug References, Adult Themes, Medium Level Violence and Course Language.)

Claire breathed deeply, glancing to her right she saw the Gungellan pub, her watering hole. Glancing back in front of her, listening to her gliding footsteps, she sighed deep in thought. Alex Ryan the love of her life, her soul mate, she didn't know what she would have done without him, during this hard time with Tess's breast cancer scare. Claire hoped to god, her sister was okay, she couldn't bare it if she lost her sister, after just getting her back. Then there was BOM, her little bundle of joy, her flesh and blood. Claire looked up mentally shaking herself from her thoughts as she saw Frank walk up to her,  
>"G'day Frank," she smiled broadly, he smiled a restricted smile before stopping her in her tracks,<br>"Hi Claire, um you need to come to the station with me," he exclaimed quietly, slightly upset at the news he was about to give to this youthful, happy go lucky woman,  
>"Why, what's happened?" Claire asked frowning from confusion, she mentally went through the last couple of days,<br>"I thinks it's best if you come with me….now," He answered looking around secretly, Claire was speechless, watching Franks behavior, it worried her,  
>"Uh, okay," she answered creasing her forehead in confusion as Frank walked her to the station in silence.<p>

An eerie silence came over the office as Claire made her way through to Frank's office, all the time watching as the light cast shadows over the walls, floor, just like it was laying a shadow over her life. Claire sat down nervously, still frowning at the situation as the door opened behind her, she swiveled around sharply, swallowing hard at the tall man that entered,  
>"What's going on?" Claire asked following the middle aged man with her eyes as he stood next to Frank. Both men took a deep breath unable to look at the desperate expression on Claire's face, "Frank, what going on?" Claire asked with more force,<br>"Claire, Your relationship with Peter Johnson," Franks started, still cautious of the way he was saying every word, Claire's body tightened at the mention of Peter Johnson, "We have been informed by the Queensland police that he's hired a hit men to kill either you or your loved ones," Frank continued, but Claire didn't hear another word. 'Kill' echoed in her head. Peter Johnson wanted to kill her, her sister, her lover and his child. Frank stared at Claire who was still lost in thought her frown increasing by the minute,  
>"Claire?" he exclaimed watching her intently till she looked up startled,<br>"He wants to kill me?" she asked bewildered. How could he want to kill her, even his daughter, did he have a heart at all!  
>"Yes, you have to be put into witness protection," Frank answered shifting nervously, bracing himself for the storm that was inevitable from Claire,<br>"Witness Protection?" she asked looking up from Frank to the tall mysterious man,  
>"Witness protection, for you safely Miss McLeod, to stop anyone innocent from being hurt," the tall man said in a deep alluring voice, giving Claire more reason to worry, she looked back at Frank,<br>"So I have to leave Drovers? Leave my sister, Alex and my daughter?" Claire asked the anger rising in her throat,  
>"Yes, for their safety and,"<br>"No, I'm not leaving," Claire cut Frank off mid-sentence, standing up abruptly,  
>"You don't understand Miss McLeod, they will kill you," the now obvious witness protection officer said stepping forward. Claire stood going over how her life went so wrong in her head, staring at the carpet below her feet. Sighing she lifted her head running her hand through her brown wavy hair,<br>"When?" Claire asked quietly, barely audience to Frank and the officer,  
>"Well as soon as possible, next week," the officer went on and on, his voice a muffled murmur in Claire's ears, she was lost in thought again. She would have to leave Drover's Run, her sister at her weakest, her lover and her daughter, she stopped looking up wide eyed,<br>"I can take Charlotte with me and Alex?" she asked stepping up the chair resting her worn hands on the back of it, Frank looked up at the witness protection officer who took deep breath in,  
>"I'm sorry we can't allow that, it would look to suspicious," he answered shaking his head. Claire's hand immediately came to her mouth, stopping the sobs that were threating to overpower her,<br>"Why would it look suspicious, your just taking me somewhere aren't you? Charlottes my daughter, she needs a mother!" she asked loudly, a sob freeing itself from her throat echoed in the small room, sweeping a piece of stray hair from her face Frank went on,  
>"Well, we are planning your death,"<br>"My what?" Claire shrieked abruptly, her hand resting back onto the chair which she gripped hard, with rage,  
>"We'll fake your death giving you an easier time staying under cover," The officer said in a tone, Claire couldn't get a hold on,<br>"So your saying in a week I'll be dead to my friends and to my family?" Claire asked, biting her bottom lip with anger and to hold the rising sobs and tears,  
>"Yes, to everyone you'll be dead, " The officer said in a matter of fact tone, it unsettled Claire, how could he be so calm about taking people from their home, from their loved ones. There was a silence as both Frank and the officer stood overlooking the ever so scared and confused Claire, never had Frank seen her like this,<br>"Where will I go?" she asked trying to sound just a little bit excited but it was no use, the fear over run her voice,  
>"Sydney, your job status and character is not settled yet, but we will let you know in the next couple of days," Frank read from the page he had in front of him, Claire looked out the window catching another glimpse of the Gungellan pub, Gungellan was her home. How could that bastard Peter take that away from her? she shook herself from her thoughts as a person walked past the window obstructing her view and her thoughts, her hand nervously resting near her chin as she thought hard, turning to the two men she stepped closer to them,<br>"I will be able to come home one day yeah?" she asked quietly taking her hand from her chin to rest on the table,  
>"Yes of course, when we have caught the hit men, you see we have Peter in custody but he has insider's, they'll keep sending them out until the jobs done," the officer answered still in a matter of fact tone, Claire stopped, she couldn't believe she was about to leave Drovers, she was going to die there, and apparently to everyone she was going to in a week,<br>"Fine, I can't believe I was an idiot to fall for Peter, Alex was right he is knob," she answered shaking her head and rolling her eyes simultaneously,  
>"So you agreeing to go on witness protection?" Frank asked surprised Claire didn't take up more of a fight, he picked up the pen he had handy,<br>"Yes," Claire breathed, shaking her head in disbelief as she watched Frank sign her life away to a man she had just met, and didn't like one bit.

Claire sat on her bed, the curtains dancing in the slight breeze that circled her room. The sun lighting it brightly, staring at the grains of wood in the floorboards, she sighed. Today would be her last day at Drovers Run, today would be her last day as Claire Louise McLeod. Since getting the phone call of Friday, she wished it was a dream, a fragment of her imagination, some slight anxiety about Peter but it wasn't, it was real. The plan was set and ready, she would find an excuse to go to Gungellan, with the help of the secret agents, she would crash the Ute, she would be transported to Sydney and become Megan Walsh a private officer in a police firm, but the thing that worried Claire was that Tess and Charlotte would be coming to Gungellan with her, she couldn't bare it if they got hurt. Straightening her shirt she walked out of her bedroom, breathing deeply the smell of the old oak floorboards, the musty smell she dreaded to leave,  
>"There you are," Alex smiled, shaking her from deep thoughts, she looked up braving a fake smile. Her heart bled though, these last moments would be her last with her lover and her friends,<br>"What's up?" Alex asked wrapping his arms around her, she fell eagerly into his arms,  
>"Nothing, just tired," she sighed closing her eyes, relishing ever last moment with the man she loved,<br>"Do you want me to tell Tess to forget about the party?" Alex asked stepping away from Claire looking into her eyes he loved so much. Claire shook her head, but inside she wanted to scream out to him to save her,  
>"Alright, but you know if we didn't have the party, we could stay in bed all afternoon," Alex exclaimed with a goofy grin, Claire let out a giggle as she looking into his eyes scanning his features as if taking mental pictures,<br>"Alex, if anything happens to me, just know that I love you," Claire exclaimed trying with all the energy she had not to burst into tears,  
>"Nothing's going to happen to you Claire, we've got the rest of our lives together," Alex stated wrapping his arm around her shoulder as they began to walk down the stairs to the Ute,<br>"Yeah, the rest of our lives," Claire said sarcastically as they passed the endless photo's that lines the halls, all now a distant memory. Tess met them out the back with Charlotte in her arms,  
>"There you are, we thought you and Alex got side tracked," Tess said with a huge smile, handing Charlotte to Claire, who sat her in the baby seat. Alex tightening the keg on the Ute, turning to Claire he smiled, he'd wasted his whole life being too proud to admit he loved his best mate,<br>"Now the pub will give you a full one right?" Alex stated as Claire turned to him,  
>"Yep," she said just audible over Charlottes cries,<br>"You sure you don't want me to take Charlotte?" Alex asked grasping Claire around the waist gently, she stopped, she'd be safer with him, but yet she wanted to be with her daughter as long as possible,  
>"No, I think she'll sleep all the way there and back," Claire answered turning in his arms. Meg and Jodi arrived next to Tess,<br>"Don't forget the corn chips," Meg exclaimed before walking into the house,  
>"Oh and the salsa!" Jodi piped in almost skipping behind her mother. Claire smiled acknowledging them, taking in the mother and daughter trio she grew up with, before turning to Tess, who sat in the Ute ready to go. Tess was so ecstatic her cancer results were clear, now she could plan her life, the way she wanted it, with her sister, her niece and hopefully Nick. Claire tried to walk as Alex playfully gasped her from behind, she relished these last moments with him. Getting into the car she kissed him on the cheek,<br>"Is that all I get?" he asked again with his goofy grin, which always melted Claire's heart, she smiled before kissing him on the lips, tasting him only made this decision harder. Closing the door with a 'thud' she smiled back up at him, making sure his last moments with her were happy ones,  
>"Don't be long," was heard over the engines motor, Claire turned to Alex, knowing he would never see her again,<br>"Can't live without me hey?" she asked as a reassurance that he would do anything for her,  
>"Something like that," he smiled, Claire shook her head amused before driving away, from her home never to return for a least a year, at least that's what she thought.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Claire sat the cold wrapping itself around her, the fear also wrapping her in a cocoon. She could hear Alex and Tess's sobs from above the cliff; she desperately wanted to yell to them, and scream in pain, the cut on her leg, covering her jeans leg in red crimson blood was painful. The plan was completed; she had successfully crashed the Ute. Tess was able to get Charlotte and herself out, but that relief still didn't cover the fear and sadness. The distant sobs grew louder and louder, Claire knew that her friends were there, Tess, Alex, Jodi, Terry and Nick, but there was nothing she could do, she was stranded. Claire looked up automatically to look into the mirror, but it wasn't there. The realization hit her when she saw it 2 meters from where she was sitting, the endless bits of glass, food and broken beer bottles, scattered around 3 meter radius of her, a crystal tear fell from her eye, her throat burned with pain as she held the sobs in. The engines above were started, they were leaving, and she had to leave now. Seeing the officer's drive up to the wreck she broke down, knowing Alex, Tess and the others were gone, her loud sobs echoing in the canyon, turning she saw Charlotte's baby seat, next to it a stuffed toy, tattered and torn due to the impact, picking it up she realized it was the small dog Alex brought for Charlotte in Melbourne, when their hidden emotions were finally admitted,  
>"You right to go?" snapped Claire from her thoughts, looking up she saw the witness protection officer, still he had no name and that's they was Claire liked it. Shifting in her seat, she realized the impact also left her tattered and torn, her leg was still bleeding, her back jarred too. A big burly man came over picking her up in his arms with ease, usually the Claire McLeod everyone knew would fight it, but she wasn't Claire anymore, she was some made up person, with made up emotions and feelings. Lying slack in the man's strong arms she looked up and out of the canyon, the sky a bright orange from the sunset, casting yellow and orange shards of light over the landscape she loved and called home, but not anymore. They finally arrived to a helicopter, sitting inside the chopper, she was quiet he brain working overtime at how on earth to deal with such a strange situation, "Are you alright?" A young girl asked, looking down at the girl Claire nodded now oblivious to the excruciating pain she was in, until the nurse ripped her jeans and tended to the wound, the pain cutting through her body with ever dob of the cotton ball,<br>"I thought you said I wouldn't get hurt," Claire said with no expression staring out the window as they lifted off the ground,  
>"Well that was the plan," the officer answered, looking at her, "Julie," he added pointing to Claire's face, the young nurse looked up, seeing the blood thread that ran freely from Claire's nose. Julie attended to Claire, she was a good as new almost except from the emptiness in her eyes,<br>"Here," Julie said taking a water bottle from her backpack and a wig, Claire looking at it her eye's glazed, the sound of the helicopter droning in her ears,  
>"The wigs for you until you grow your hair," the officer said as Claire took it, with the help of the nurse she put it on. It was still brown, but long and straight, never had Claire had her hair like this. She took a deep breath looking out the window, the landscape now cover in the darkness of night. In the distance though she saw a house with the lights, recognizing it as Wilgul. <em>Alex was probably there, he wouldn't be able to sleep in my bed knowing that I was dead<em>, Claire thought rolling her eyes slightly, everyone thought she was dead, gone, but the strange thing was Claire did feel dead, without Drovers, Tess, Alex and Charlotte she had nothing to live for.

Tess sat at the table staring carelessly at the food she had in front of her, Meg, Jodi and Stevie all quietly eating the endless noise of knifes connecting with plates over powering in Tess's ears,  
>"You have to eat something Tess," Meg said quietly standing up from the table, Tess looked at her though lost eye's, until the house filled with the ring of the phone over and over, the pain cut threw Tess, it had been a week since Claire died and that phone just never stopped. Meg walked promptly out of the kitchen to the study, Tess still stared at the food on her plate, as Stevie and Jodi waited for Meg to work her magic on Tess,<br>"Tess!" Meg called from the hallway, Tess got up still with no expression she picked the phone up,  
>"Hello?" she exclaimed sighing that she had to go through another sympathy talk,<br>"Miss McLeod are you alone?" a deep voice said from the other end, Tess frowned coming out of her trance,  
>"Who is this?" she asked with more anger in her voice then intended,<br>"I can't tell you that," the voice replied quickly, Tess held the phone tightly peering into the kitchen, were she saw Meg, Jodi and Stevie talking. Tess walked into the study shutting the door promptly behind her,  
>"Okay, I'm alone," she answered cautiously, fear jolting through body,<br>"We have someone who wants to talk to you," the man said, Tess listened intently her palms sweating as she hear the crumbling and crunching through the telephone line,  
>"Tess?" a voice called desperately. Tess froze staring at the floor, her eye's wide, her heart beat the only thing heard, "Tess?" the voice called again,<br>"Claire?" she asked quietly, tears prickling her eyes. On the other end Claire stood, her legs shaking her hands shaking hearing her sister voice,  
>"Yes! Tess it's me," Claire whaled, tears falling from her eyes,<br>"Claire?" Tess asked again not daring to believe her sister was actually alive. Claire laughed slightly, trust Tess to be so clueless,  
>"Tess, it's me. I didn't die Tess, it was Peter," Claire started till the realization hit Tess,<br>"What did he do? Are you Okay? Where are you?" Tess questioned, more and more questions filled Claire's ear, usually it would annoy Claire, but she was just so glad to hear her sister,  
>"Tess! I'm fine. Peter sent hit men out,"<br>"What?" Tess shrieked, she paced around the study, following the casts of dimming sunlight on the floor,  
>"Tess! It's fine I'm in witness protection, I'm in Sydney" Claire answered all the time being watched over by endless police officer's,<br>"Can I come see you?" Tess asked quickly, hope hanging on every word,  
>"No Tess, I'll be home sometime soon, I promise," There was a silence between the two, a silence of contentment and understanding,<br>"Tess how's Charlotte?" Claire asked breaking the silence promptly,  
>"Yeah she okay now, she had a spider bite,<br>"A spider bite! Is she alright?" Claire asked her heart lurching out of her chest,  
>"She's fine, Stevie got us to the hospital, she stole Sandra's plane," Tess giggled, Claire laughed, it was a pleasant change from the sadness and anger she felt the last week,<br>"Sandra has a plane?"  
>"Yep, her and Harry are quiet close," Tess answered barely holding her laugh in,<br>"Harry's an Idiot isn't he," Claire exclaimed jokingly, "What about Alex?" Claire added brightly. There was a silence, Claire began to worry, "He hasn't done anything stupid has he?"  
>"Um," Tess didn't know whether she should tell Claire the truth or not,<br>"Tess! Tell me," Claire exclaimed her tone strong and bold, just like the old Claire,  
>"Claire, he.. He was going to ask you to,"<br>"To what?" Claire interrupted; she couldn't bear Tess's stalling,  
>"To marry him," Tess answered clenching her teeth slightly at the unknown reaction she would get from Claire, the silence filled Tess's ear, the deep breathing on Claire was only heard, "Claire?" Tess asked worried that she would have derailed her sister completely. Claire held the phone staring at the witness protection officer, with sheer anger,<br>"Where is he?" Claire asked she asked clenching her teeth, seething with anger that Peter could take her away from let alone her daughter but her fiancé,  
>"In Fisher,"<br>"What's he doing in Fisher?" Tess heard Claire asked, her voice filled with confusion,  
>"Rodeo's, Wilgul's broke," Tess stated sighing at the thought of Nick, she really did love him, but she wasn't ready yet to tell him,<br>"Oh," Claire exclaimed seeing the officer in the corner of her eye tap his watch, "Um look Tess I've got to go, tell everyone I'm okay, tell Alex please," Claire exclaimed looking away from the officer's, her eye's heavy from lack of sleep and from the built up tears, that were threatening to escape,  
>"I will I promise, I love you Claire and I miss you," Tess said as a tear fell from her eye, she quickly wiped it away, hearing the clanging of plates and utensils in the kitchen,<br>"I love you too Tess, and Charlotte and Alex, everyone, please tell them," Claire pleaded still holding on to the tears that prickled her eyes,  
>"I will," Tess answered before her light laugher filled the line, "I don't wanna hang up," she admitted with a laugh.<br>"Me neither, but I've got to, I miss you," Claire laughed wiping a tear away that had freed itself,  
>"Alright, I love you okay… see you soon," Tess said reluctantly, listening intently,<br>"Yep, I promise I'll come home as soon as possible, bye,"  
>"Bye," Tess exclaimed taking the phone from her ear and pressing the end call button, with lingering reluctance. Tess sat the phone next to her as she lent on the table, picking up the picture of her and Claire as children, smiling as she looked at both her and Claire up and down, running her finger down Claire she smiled. Her sister was still alive, she could see her again, Tess felt the joy and relief ease every muscle in her body,<br>"I knew you didn't die," she breathed holding the picture close to her chest, before remembering Alex, she had to ring Alex. Standing up from the table she dialed his number as fast as her fingers could possible go. Tess stood the ringing echoing in her head, as it began to ache from the lack of food and over working she had done the last week past,  
>"Come on Alex," she sighed as the ringing continued until finally it broke,<br>"Tess, what's up?" Tess tensed as soon as she heard Alex, she didn't know how to tell him what had just happened,  
>"Alex," she exclaimed in a high pitch, thinking hard to try and think of a way to tell him without, aggravating him.<br>"Tess? What's wrong?" he asked, sensing something was wrong in her voice. Alex always knew when something was eating at Claire's younger sister, ever since he went out with her, learning her every mood, was a bonus, when he and Claire began going out,  
>"Its Claire," she stated frowning at how stupid that must sound, to Alex,<br>"What about her Tess?," he asked eagerly,  
>"You're alone aren't you," Tess exclaimed remember her conversation with the officer,<br>"What? Yeah why?" Alex asked, his voice sounding that even more confused,  
>"Claire isn't dead Alex,"<br>"Tess, she is," Alex sighed interrupted her, knowing Tess had a hard time admitting her sister was gone,  
>"No, No she's on witness protection, it was Peter,"<br>"What'd he do?" Alex erupted, "Tess tell me," his voice loud over the phone, Tess cringed slightly,  
>"He sent out people to hurt us, she had to leave," Tess exclaimed her breaths short and sharp from panic,<br>"Where is she? I wanna see her," Alex exclaimed his voice had seemed to calm down slightly,  
>"You can't Alex, she's in Sydney," Tess answered beginning to pace the study again, there was a silence between the two, Tess only guessed Alex was thinking hard about the situation, just like she had been,<br>"How do you know?" his voice echoed through the line, desperate and slightly insulted,  
>"She rang me, just then. She didn't know where you were, I'm sorry," Tess exclaimed, as yet again her eyes prickled with tears,<br>"Tess it's alright,  
>"No, it's not I told her Alex, I'm sorry," Tess interrupted as a sob escaped from her throat,<br>"Told her what?" Alex asked his voice short and sharp through the line,  
>"About the ring," Tess stated sniffling as she plucked a tissue from the box. The silence haunted Tess, she couldn't hear a thing through the line, "Alex I'm sorry," Tess blubbered,<br>"What did she say?" he asked, Tess heard the hurt and sadness in his voice,  
>"Nothing much," Tess answered frowning, looking around the dark room,<br>"Did she say yes?" Alex asked breathing deeply, Tess could hear the hope in his voice,  
>"I didn't ask her Alex, she says she's coming home soon," Tess exclaimed trying to make this conversation a happy one, knowing Alex's short fuse, she didn't want to be on the receiving end of anything, but it was too late,<br>"How long Tess?" he snapped "Tomorrow, next week, next month, next year!" he yelled, Tess held the phone away from the ear slightly due to Alex's booming voice,  
>"Look Alex I dunno, she says she loves you and miss's you, I've got to go," Tess said hanging up, she couldn't bare being yelled at for doing something nice. Resting both hands on the phone she shook her head,<br>"Alex," she muttered, before putting the phone down and leaving, shutting the door of the study behind her, as if shutting it on the chaos.

Claire slammed the phone into the officer's hand, still rope able with anger. Pacing back a forth the small room with what space was left with the countless officer's she rested her hand on her forehead, frowning,  
>"Everything alright?" The witness protection officer asked, still sitting his arms crossed along with his legs,<br>"What do you think!" Claire snapped turning with anger written all over her face. An uncomfortable silence filled the room as the officer's watched Claire, pace back and forth muttering under breath, until she turned sharply, "You took me away from the closest thing I had to a family, when my mother died I swore I'd never do that to my children, but you made me," She yelled pointing to the officer aggressively,  
>"Please Miss Walsh," the officer started until interrupted,<br>"My name is Claire, not Megan, or Miss Walsh!" she shouted walking up to the officer, her strides strong, powerful. The officer sat there slightly amused by her reaction, "My boyfriend was going to ask me to marry him, like every girl that's what I wished for, but you…" Claire yelled before shaking her head in disgust at the man, "You ruined my life," she finished as she finally let the suppressed tears fall, the sobs releasing easily from her throat,  
>"I'm sorry Miss McLeod, but Neil's not to blame Peter Johnson is," another officer exclaimed, so that was his name Neil. He was the witness protection officer, who was cynically amused at Claire's reactions, Claire stood holding her head high, looking to the light that seeped through the room from the hall,<br>"Mrs. McLeod-Ryan," she stated before leaving, heaving the door open, it swung back, making a haunting noise, followed by a loud room shattering slam.


	3. Chapter 3

3 YEARS LATER (3rd Anniversary of Claire leaving Gungellan)

Claire sat in front of the mirror in her bedroom, applying her lipstick with a heavy hand. Three years since she left Gungellan, no info from the witness protection officers, she was just left to fend for herself. She was bored; she wanted some fun, adrenaline. This job was nothing. Claire still missed Alex, Tess and Charlotte; she hoped they would still be on Drover's together, looking after her precious little girl. Little did she know Tess had left Drovers with Nick and was pregnant, Jodi was her sister, Charlotte was living with Peter and Alex was married to Fiona Webb. Putting down the lipstick she automatically picked her glass of stiff whiskey, taking a short sip she let it sit in her mouth, burning her lips, tongue and cheek's, before swallowing, letting the lingering burn of it relax her. She fiddled with the ear of the stuffed dog, Alex had given Charlotte a year ago, evoking her thoughts, _what would he look like? Has he waited for me? What would Charlotte look like? Has she said her first word? Has she started to walk? How was Tess?_ These questions flooded her head, till she craved the whiskey, looking down she studies the glass before taking another sip, this time swallowing it straight away, the burn forced her to cough slightly. Claire stood up, he long straight hair falling to her shoulders. She didn't mind her hair being that long, contemplating growing it longer. Turning she saw what a mess her room was, clothes everywhere, shoes, empty vodka, rum and whiskey bottles. The lifestyle of a runaway, being in witness protection was a hard life, the stress, the difficulty of leaving you loved ones, but still that little light somewhere which stops you from doing something you'll regret. Picking up her jackets that draped over the chair, she thought of her project today, a drug bust. The only reason she would apply her make up so heavily, but now for the clothes, something dull, but sexy, she had the right one, a black leather jacket, she took it off the chair and slipped into it with ease, looking down she realized there were a pair of boxer's. Claire frowned slightly confused. Claire hadn't exactly let herself go completely she still had her dignity, but the drinking helped, the light headedness, made the pain disappear, but the thing that made every little fear and insecurity go was sex. To be held, kissed was the best feeling, taking the pain away and replacing it with the up most pleasure. Coming out of her daze she picked them up recognizing them as her boss's, she'd slept with Senior Constable Peter Church, it wasn't exactly a waste of time she thought, smiling slightly as she threw them to the floor, walking over to her dressing table, she took the last gulp of whiskey it stung her throat, but it was replaced with the feeling of weightlessness, just the thing to start the day with.

Claire walked into the officer, her make up still heavy and clothes still….'slutty' in Claire's mind. Walking through the officer, in a daze about 'Church' she was taken back when she hit something, something strong, tall, looking up she saw Detective Inspector Luke Harris, his wide eyes standing out from all his features, the glow of his bare head almost blinding her as she looked up.  
>"You been out somewhere detective Walsh?' he asked sleazing his way next to her as she continued to walk,<br>"Drug bust," Claire sighed rolling her eyes. Stopping at her desk she looked up at Luke with a questioning look, "What are you doing?" she finally asked packing her papers up for the day,  
>"I heard a rumor about you," Luke smiled raising his eyebrow at Claire. Her heart began to beat fast, surely he couldn't have found out about the whole witness protection situation, she looked back to him her eye's fearful,<br>"Huh, What's that?" she asked nodding her head, acting as confident as possible. The chatter in the officer was to a minimal, most had gone home. Claire turner her humming computer off,  
>"That you slept with the boss," The relief washed over her, knowing no one knew about her real identity, she smiled as the grin of Harris' face, she walked off leaving him standing there. Watching her walk away, he sighed watching her hips sway from side to side "So it's true then?" he asked coming out of his daze, running slightly to catch up to her,<br>"You shouldn't believe everything you hear," Claire replied looking up at him with a sly smile, shaking her head she kept walking past the endless officer's and so too did Harris'. "You know I've heard a rumor about you too," She exclaimed walking through the heavy door to the car park, it slammed behind the both of them, the clicking of Claire's heals and Harris' scuffling shoes echoes in the confined space,  
>"What's that?" he asked in a flirty tone as Claire arrived at her car, fondly enough Harris' car was next to hers,<br>"That you stole some evidence," Claire replied her tone begin to also turn flirty, seductive. Harris' nodded laughing slightly,  
>"The coke?" he asked cocking his head , as he lent on the roof of his car,<br>"It's true then?" Claire asked surprised, she would never have picked Detective Harris as the corrupt cop,  
>"Don't believe everything you hear," he exclaimed laughing, Claire shook her head as she too laughed. Opening the door of her car, she still sensed Harris' eyes one her,<br>"So Megan, what are you doing tonight?" Luke asked in a light gruff tone, Claire stopped herself from getting in her car, popping her head back up she saw Harris' beady eyes set on her,  
>"Why?" she asked giving him a quick raised eyebrow,<br>"Well I'm not doing anything," Harris started watching Claire shake her head in amusement before looking up at him, tracing her tongue along her teeth she finally smiled back at him,  
>"Get in," she stated disappearing into her car. Luke grabbed his keys with determination, pressing the lock button, the 'beep' echoed while the flash of the lights, rebounded in the small space, he almost jumped into Claire's car, before she began to drive off. Claire tried to even out her breathing pattern as the silence filled the car. Luke looked over her body, starting from her legs. Thin but womanly, her hips and stomach perfect in proportion and the rest simply perfect, truly gorgeous. They exited the parking lot,<br>"So, where do you live?" Luke asked resting his hand on Claire's thigh, she turned to him at first surprised and weary, but that feeling of love and weightlessness hit her,  
>"Just round the corner," she replied smiling broadly, wriggling into his hand. Harris responded by lightly rubbing his thumb on the inside of her thigh, she was breath taking to not only Peter Church but to Luke Harris also. Turning into the driveway, Claire felt that same feeling on want, she'd felt before, to be held, loved and cherished,<br>"You weren't kidding when you said around the corner," Luke exclaimed smiling as he ducked his head to get a better look at the house/apartment. White in colour the house looked old, with a wooden door with glass features that gave the house a character, just like the woman besides Luke,  
>"You 'gonna' get out?" Claire asked as she slipped out of his grasp and out of the car, Luke looked at her, before getting out all the time not losing sight of the amazing presents Claire had. Walking besides Claire to the door he scanned the garden, run down, of course the sexy sassy Megan Walsh wasn't a gardener, Harris guessed. Claire opened the door with a push; a gust of cool air came rushing past them as they entered the small house. To the right was the lounge, it was small with a two seater lounge in the middle, with a bookcase, TV and coffee table nothing to flash, but again the odd shirt or jacket lay scrunched on a table or chair. Adjacent to the lounge was a small kitchen with a breakfast bar, no outstanding furniture. Harris walked over to where Claire was standing, he smiled as she took three tall bottles of alcohol out of the cupboard and with a 'clink' she put them on the bench,<br>"What would you like?" Claire asked smiling mysteriously at Luke as he lent on the bench opposite her,  
>"That one looks pretty good," he exclaimed looking into Claire's eyes, she smiled flattered by him,<br>"I meant to drink," she stated again with sly mysterious smile,  
>"Still that one looks pretty good," Luke said smiling at her, Claire shook her head amused at his flattery, " Whiskey," he answered finally, looking behind he caught a glimpse of Claire's bedroom, it seriously looked as if a bomb had gone off in it, the clothes lay everywhere,<br>"Good choice," Claire sighed with a smile handing the glass to Luke, before gliding to the lounge, Harris followed suit, again glancing her wonderful figure over. Luke sat next to Claire; setting his glass of whiskey down he draped his arm around her shoulder, she looked up at him and smiled graciously,  
>"How do get that scar?" Luke asked as Claire took another sip of whiskey swallowing hard remembering how she got it.<br>"I fell through a window," She answered as Luke took her face into his palms. _Claire was 5 when it happen, Tess and her where sitting on the bench in the laundry at Drover's, when Ruth came walking in, obviously from just fighting with Jack,  
>"Claire, Tess get down from there you'll fall," she exclaimed before disappearing around the corner into the kitchen, Tess jumped down obeying her mother's wishes,<br>"Claire get down, mum said," Tess stated, looking at Claire, who lent back onto the glass window,  
>"I don't have to listen to your mum," Claire replied her stubbornness coming out at a young age,<br>"Claire! Get down!" Jack yelled from outside the laundry, his voice rough and very loud, Tess cowered slightly, as she saw Claire slip back to far, falling through the window. Tess ran outside the laundry were Jack was now with Claire as she sat up,  
>"Claire I told you not to swing," Jack exclaimed looking at Claire's cheek which had a been cut by a shard of class.<em> Claire came back to earth realizing she wasn't in the lounge room anymore but her bedroom, laying down as Harris' hand ran down her stomach, coming up he kissed her before she could say a word. Claire leant back hard on the bed for a moment and run a hand down the side of Luke's neck slowly whilst maintaining direct eye contact. Without warning, Luke kissed her hard again their tongues working at each other passionately. Claire felt the overwhelming pleasure overpower the regret and sadness of her previous life. Drawing back for a moment to catch his breath and look into Claire's eyes, Harris had no idea what she saw in his eyes, but in her's there seemed to be desire. Quite a lot of it. Pushing Claire lightly against the bed again, Harris lifted her T-shirt to mash her breasts together through the lace of her black bra. The lower temperature and the chemistry Claire and Luke had appeared to have stiffened her nipples nicely. Claire squirmed in his grasp, vanquished with passion. Claire looked down over her body, Harris close to her, his erection clear through his pants; Claire could feel it rub against her thigh, evoking her deep wild child. Luke unhooked her bra and lifted it, so Claire was fully exposed. The shock of the chilled air flowing over her prompted a gasp from Claire. Harris stoped for a moment as he surveyed the scene, smiling a crooked grin. Arching her back, she started to work on his erection through his trousers, unzipping his fly. Without further discussion Harris reaches round her waist and opened the zipper, allowing her trousers to be pulled down enough to give him access to her black cotton thong, Luke smiled triumphantly. Claire brought her hands down so she could scoot off her thong. Resting his hand on her heat, Claire moaned into Harris' lips. Claire felt him teasing her before slamming into her. Thrusting her hips, Claire was lost in the sounds and smells of everything for what was 10 minutes felt like 10 hours, Harris' hips thrusting into her. Pulling away slightly Claire felt Harris tighten inside of her. Claire let out another moan of pleasure, as she bucked against Luke's erection; he began to slow down, just as he exploded into her, letting out a sigh of relief. They fell gently to the side of each other, both breathing deeply for air,  
>"So, was I better than the boss?" Harris asked as Claire lay across his chest, she laughed slightly, still on a high,<br>"I dunno about that," she teased looking up, kissing him, she sighed contently. There was a silence as the heavy breathing began to subside, "That coke you stole Luke," Claire asked looking over her hand as it rest of Luke's chest,  
>"Yeah,"<br>"What did you do with it?" she asked as Luke caressed and played with her hair,  
>"Used it why's that?" Harris asked looking down, Claire's hair shone in the light that seeped through the curtains,<br>"I was just curious, we got some today you know," she stated wiping a strand of hair out of her face, her heart beat now returning to its regular rate. There was silence as the content breathing of both people filled the room, "I could get you some," Claire asked propping herself on her elbow, pulling the sheet to cover herself, Luke turned to her smiling,  
>"You'd do that?" he asked shocked, that Detective Walsh was willing to become a corrupt cop,<br>"Yeah," she answered nuzzling into her pillow, Luke rolled to his side caressing her face with her palm,  
>"When?"<br>"Tomorrow," she smiled, before Harris kissed her as a sign of the go ahead.

Claire walked into the office, still filled with the euphoria of her night with Detective Luke Harris, walking to her desk; she turned the computer on and took her papers out automatically, as she thought about her best way to smuggle the goods to Luke,  
>"Megan, you don't know where Luke is do you?" Constable Angie Piper asked from behind Claire, she turned surprised by her,<br>"Huh no, why?" Claire asked slightly caught off guard,  
>"Oh the rumour. It was true," Angie answered sweeping her blonde hair out of her face,<br>"What rumour?" Claire asked now in a daze as she busily cleaned her desk,  
>"You know the one about him and the cocaine?" Angie asked looking at Claire quizzically,<br>"Oh okay," She answered turning to Angie, who frowned slightly,  
>"You okay Megan? You look a little flushed," Angie asked taken a step towards Claire,<br>"I'm fine," she answered, smiling a broad but fake smile, "What are you doing about Harris?" she asked changing the subject quickly, before any more questions were asked,  
>"We have a sting set up me, Church and Katherine," Angie answered still studying Claire,<br>"What is Katherine catching her father? And you your ex-husband?" Claire asked stopping from her work, to turn to Angie,  
>"Yeah," she answered smiling, but it faded fast, "Well, Katherine's a part of our plan that's all and me and Harris divorced last year," she admitted as she sat on Claire's officer chair, Claire shook her head slightly confused at the plan,<br>"Megan!" a voice called from the officer, startled Claire turned to see Detective Church striding towards her, she smiled seeing him smile at what she thought was her, but it was Angie, turning she saw Angie with the same dreamy smile she once had. Claire frowned, Alex was always the one for her, her soul mate, but Church, he was sensitive but strong, she loved that, how could he want Angie?,  
>"Megan," he said again standing next to Angie who smiled a victorious smile as she saw the jealously creep over Claire's face,<br>"Yeah,"  
>"I want you to fill these papers in, give them to Sophie to give to the magistrate," Peter said almost pushing the papers into Claire's hands, she grabbed them looking at Church slightly hurt,<br>"Where are the others?" Claire asked, her revengeful side seeping through, so she get the drugs for Harris,  
>"Well Sophie will be at the courts most of the day and me, Katherine and Angie out on the sting," Peter stated smiling down at Angie, who smiled back, the chemistry almost too much for Claire,<br>"Okay," Claire answered turning to her desk, putting the papers down and glaring at Angie to get out of her chair, which Angie did with the most ridiculous smile on her face. They walked away, all the time glancing at each other, laughing, flirting, it sickened Claire. The office door slammed behind the two, Claire stood up automatically, and scanning the room, there was no one, she was alone. Taking a deep breath and taking her first step the phone rang causing the anxious Claire to jump in fright, she sighed defeated as she turned and picked the phone up,  
>"Hello, Detective Megan Walsh speaking,"<br>"Hi, I'm looking for Angie Piper,"  
>"Um she's not here at the moment, can I take a message?" Claire answered the man, his voice sounding very proper, nothing like her vocabulary,<br>"Oh no it's alright,"  
>"Oh well she'll be here around," Claire lingered on the word around as she glanced down at her computer for the time, "she'll be back around three," she added, smiling to herself,<br>"Thanks," the voice replied and hung up, Claire put the phone back down staring at the desk, with hazy eye, she frowned, things these days just didn't add up. Her life in Gungellan was much easier. Resuming her previous task she began walking down the hall, her steps quickening with each step. Peter was right the office was empty; Claire smiled as she glanced over her shoulder, as she pushed the door open, the smell of wet cardboard hit her as she walked fully into the evidence room. Claire looked up to her right, the room was leaking, boxes were soaked in water. She turned down the isle of endless boxes; she came to the bag of cocaine. She looked behind her not to check if someone was there but just as a habit, before opening the bag, it was all still there. She pinched her fingers together, taking only a fewer grains before rubbing it on her gum, the bitter taste hit her at first, but then her gum went numb, it was the real deal cocaine. Filling the bag as quickly as she could, she heard a rustling noise behind her, a shiver flew up her spine, turning to her left she saw no one, reaching for her hand gun she went to turn to her right,  
>"Put the bag down," the voice harsh and loud, it was Peter Church, Claire's took her gun out in self-defence, dropping the bag as the endless barrels of their handguns faced her,<br>"Megan?" Angie gasped in dis-belief, scanning the terror and fear on Claire's face,  
>"Megan put the gun down," Church exclaimed, his aim impeccably good, as Claire could easily see down the barrel, even from that distance. Claire was losing control she could feel the feelings a fear, regret, guilt and impulse wash over her. Claire stood her arm both firmly on her gun, aimed for Church, when she heard a door behind her open, her arms filled with goose bumps, showing her fear well, as she glanced behind for a split second, catching a glance of Neil and the officers from witness protection, she backed against the shelving,<br>" Undercover Officer Neil Atkinson," he called to Peter Church, Katherine and Angie, who stood their ground, Claire arms began to ache, but she didn't want to give in,  
>"Megan put the gun down," Church said again, his voice still strong and bold,<br>"No!" She said as the tears began to well up in her eyes,  
>"Megan please put the gun down," Angie pipped in her eyes pleading with Claire, who began to feeling the anger wash over her,<br>"Why should I listen to you?" she asked the hurt now definite in her voice, everyone in the room was shocked at why Claire/ Megan would say such as thing,  
>"Because we're friends, I'll help you with whatever you want," Angie answered, Peter looked down at her cautious of where this could go,<br>"Megan back up to us," Neil said glancing to Angie and back to Claire,  
>"You are not my friend, your with Peter aren't you?" Claire asked her arms now trembling with pain as she stood her ground, her hands become sweaty around the gun. Angie blushed slightly, still her gun pointed on Claire, "See I knew it!" Claire exploded looking up at Church, "You slept with me first," she said as the tears began to fall, before her arms cramped on her, she dropped the gun. The surrounding officers all cowered slightly as the gun hit the floor, breaking thankfully instead of firing, Claire fell next to it onto her knee's sobbing. Neil ran up to her and handcuffed her before, Angie or Peter could get to her. Claire shook as her sobs controlled her,<br>"Who are you?" Peter asked withdrawing his gun slightly,  
>"Neil Atkinson, Undercover Cop," Neil answered as he tightened the hand cuff behind Claire's back, her small sobs echoing in the small room,<br>"Ah you're from the witness protection firm, aren't you?" Peter asked now recognising the face and name, he pushed his gun back into his pocket the others followed suit. Angie looked down confused as Claire was helped up onto her feet. Claire looked through the stands of hair that had freed themselves, she looked into Angie's eyes the confusion too much, her life was too much,  
>"What's Megan doing in witness protection?" Angie asked as she broke eye contact with Claire,<br>"Angie," Peter warned her, as they began to walk up to Neil and Claire. Angie rolled her eyes slightly,  
>"What's her name?" Katherine asked as she watched an officer take Claire out of the room, her steps sluggish, her head still hung in sadness,<br>"We can't tell you, but I'll give her your detail's, if you'd like?" Neil asked looking from Church to Angie,  
>"Yeah, that would be good," Angie smiled. Although her friendship had fragmented with Claire lately, they were good friends once, until Church was involved,<br>"Well I should get back," Neil replied cocking his head to the door, where Claire had went through only moments before,  
>"Look after her," Church called after Neil just before he went through the door, Angie and Katherine both looked up at their boss as Neil smiled, keeping his promises, to get Claire back to Drovers and to look after her, with her ever deteriorating emotions.<p>

The smell of stale car refresher filled Claire's nose as she breathed deeply her sobs now subsiding. Neil opened the car door, the silence hit him not even the sound of breathing was heard, Claire was deep in thought. How could her life go so completely out of control.  
>"What on earth were you doing?" Neil asked his voice loud and harsh. Claire looked up and tried to say something, but nothing came out, she looked away furiously blinking the tears away,<br>"We had the hit men Claire, there's only one out there now and you go and pull a stunt like that," Neil stated shaking his head angrily as he tried to turn to Claire fully from the front of the car,  
>"How did you know what I was doing? Were you stalking me or something?" Claire exclaimed as she began to fight against the handcuff's,<br>"Yeah for two weeks," Neil said in a tone Claire hadn't heard from him in years, ever since he came to tell her about Peter in Gungellan. Claire grinded her teeth together angrily,  
>"You left me!" Claire yelled, struggling against the handcuffs,<br>"Well we can't keep checking on you Claire, it would be too suspicious," Neil yelled getting frustrated at Claire's short fuse,  
>"You could have at least came every year, the last time I saw you was three years ago," Claire exclaimed becoming increasingly agitated at the handcuffs. Neil gave up; Claire was going downhill, fast. He couldn't help her. Deep down Claire was wearing him down, the cynical, macho theme was an act, Claire was hurting and her could see and feel that, "Get these things off me!" Claire shrieked as Neil began to drive away, glancing up to the rear view mirror, he saw the rage as Claire struggled against the handcuff's,<br>"Claire sit the fuck down," He yelled, Claire stopped and looked up shocked, "I'll take them off later, once we've left Melbourne," Neil stated. Claire froze, 'Melbourne', echoed I her head. Swallowing hard she fell into a dream of contentment. _Claire sighed contently, her hand tightened around Alex's as the danced in the hotel room, the light from outside stores and hotel's seeping into their room. Alex pulled her closer,  
>"You mean everything to me," Alex stated after a lengthy explanation of how he felt with Claire: like heaven on earth,<br>"Can I get a word in?" Claire interrupted as Alex continued to speak, his eye's staring into Claire's, she was lost in him and he was lost in her.  
>"Make it quick," Alex smiled, Claire took a deep breath looking deeper into his eyes as he tighten his grip on her hand and her hip as they stood still in the middle of the hotel room<br>"I love you," Claire sighed her eyes wide with anticipation, as Alex's moved closer to her, finally their lips met. Claire floated on a cloud of weightlessness__._ She came back to reality looking up she realised Neil was glancing at her through the rear view mirror; she looked away quickly watching the endless buildings pass by. That weightlessness was what she craved, she wanted to feel loved, cherished and held so tightly, but no one was able to do it like Alex, Alex was the one for Claire. Claire looked back into the car, staring at the air conditioner vents in the console, she frowned,  
>"What's my name?" she asked staring as if in deep thought,<br>"Felicity Morgan, you haven't got a job," Neil answered as the both adults calmed down,  
>"I haven't got job?"<br>"We'll support you, until you get one," Neil answered concentrating on the road, not daring to look at the hurt and helplessness on Claire face. Claire nodded her head dejectedly. It was her fault again, again she stuffed her life up completely,  
>"Why don't you get some sleep, it's a long trip," Neil stated as he turned onto the busy freeway, Claire nuzzled into the backseat and sighed, closing her eyes hoping she'd dream of the day she would be reunited with her beloved sister, daughter and fiancé.<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

Claire wandered into the dark, dinge pub. The second hand smoke almost choking her as she made her way to the bar. Claire missed the free smelling grass and wheat even the dirt at Drovers. She sat down at the bar, flicking two fingers up carelessly at the barman who came over to her straight away,  
>"What would you like?" the barman asked he looked dirty, his beard mangled and long hair knotted into dreadlocks, it looked dreadful,<br>"Three shots of vodka and.." Claire lingered looking at their cocktail menu. She'd always thought cocktails were too girly and strong, but beer wasn't enough these days, the stronger the alcohol the better. The quicker the carefree attitude came, "and a sex on the beach," she smiled amused as the barmen walked off to mix her cocktail. She pulled out her wallet, the small picture of Alex, Charlotte and her fading with time, like she herself was. At the age of 38 she was losing time, her biological clock was ticking, Alex always wanted a footy team of kids and if Claire didn't get back, he wouldn't get that, he himself was 38. Claire sighed contently as she was handed her drinks, she paid for them still deep in thought. She wondered if Alex had grown up, matured, whether he looked good for his age. Looking down at herself she didn't think she was aging well, her hair now long halfway down her back, slightly curled. Her age was creeping up on her. Tess would be 36, her little sister was 36! Claire pondered whether Tess had married Nick or not, little did she know Tess had done exactly that and had, had a baby daughter named Claire Ruth Ryan. Charlotte would be 4; the pain hit Claire hard in the chest. She couldn't see her little girl grow up. She'd be at school soon. Claire mentally shook herself from her thoughts as she gulped down two of her shots, both burning her throat fiercely. Looking around the bar there was so many faces but no names to the faces, the city was always so busy. Her eyes lay to rest on one man though, a medium built guy, rough around the edges, his eyes almost the same blue as Alex's. Claire was fixated on him until he looked up from his conversation to meet her eyes; she took quick breath of shock as she smiled at him. He smiled back before continuing with his conversation. Claire gulped down her third shot, she winced at the pain, but the sounds began to get muffled and her legs began to tingle, with the past passions of her night with Alex whistling around the city of Melbourne, that's what she needed. She started on her cocktail looking up see caught a glimpse of the same man, his eyes set on her, she smiled at him, slightly embarrassed she was caught looking at him. Watching this alluring man, she realized he was coming over to her, she looked away as her heart almost jumped through her chest from adrenaline, what her body thrived on these days, taking another sip, she felt the males hand on her lower back, causing her to get another bold of adrenaline,  
>"I'll buy you a drink," he stated, Claire smiled up at him, paying close attention to his eyes….<p>

Claire swayed from side to side on the bar stool, the alluring man: David holding her steady,  
>"I'll buy you another drink, yeah?" he asked taking out his wallet,<br>"No, no," she slurred. Claire was almost paralytic from the copious amount of alcohol, she swayed a little more as David tried to steady her and do the gentleman thing, but little did Claire know he wanted more then to buy her a drink,  
>"Where do you live?" he asked scratching his stubble, Claire looked at him her eye's glazed and red, her face flushed from the alcohol,<br>"I don't know," she finally answered, shifting her weight on the chair, looking away she didn't catch the mischievous smile David had on his face,  
>"I'll take you home," David said standing up promptly, Claire nodded and tried her best at standing, but her legs had other plans, when she tripped over the bar stool, but ready and watching David caught her in his arms. Slinging her arm over his shoulder they exited the pub,<br>"I had a fiancé like you," Claire slurred as David walked her to his car, every once and a while tripping or bouncing off him,  
>"Yeah," David answered trying to keep the piece with Claire, so he could get what he wanted from her,<br>"Yep!" Claire answered cheerfully as David opened the car door, helping her in, but with no such luck, she fell in. David smiled slightly at the sight before shutting the door and making his way to the driver's seat, by the time he turned the key, Claire had fallen blissfully asleep. 10 minutes had past; Claire awoke when David parked the car. She glanced over to him, he was taking a long drag from a smoke; she smiled as he turned to her. Her eyes still glazed and red, but she looked a lot better from sleeping some of the alcohol off. David held his hand out the cigarette between his fingers; he looked at Claire and back to the smoke. She smiled as he brought it to her lips. He watched as her lips met the cigarette connecting slightly with his fingers. Claire inhaled the smoke, but it wasn't just tobacco, it definitely had a strong substance in there. David took it away from her lips as she savored the smoke, before letting it out, David smiled he was even more certain he wanted her after that. Claire smiled back at David as he finished the last of the cigarette; he butted it out on the dash of the car. Without another word from both people they began to get closer and closer, the moonlight shinning brighter as they moved until their lips touched, at first there kiss was gentle, then with more and more passion, the heavy breathing accompanied. They parted as the want for each other increased. David got out of the car as quickly as possible and helped Claire as she stumbled into the house, her condition much improved since only 20 minutes ago. David pushed Claire hard against the door as he shut it, letting out a groan from hitting the door so hard. David pulled her with him, they soon entered the bedroom. Claire kissed David before he pushed her down, taking off her jacket at the same time, to reveal her singlet, letting Claire get her breath he took his shirt off, knowing she still wasn't that coordinated enough to do it, he threw it behind him. Claire lay on the edge of the bed, her feet still planted firmly on the floor, David between her legs as he stood over her. David was definitely built like Alex, but much ragged with stubble and unruly hair. She raised her arm out to him, but it was forcefully pushed down next to her head, the other arm too. She looked to her right wrist being held down so tightly, but strangely she found this pleasurable, the pleasure outweighed the pain. Claire had never seen the look in David's eyes. They were wild and angry but there was something else there too. She felt a little tingle of fear as he straddled her. His hand's had let go of her sore wrists and moved to her breasts. He slid his hand under her singlet and caressed her breasts hard through her bra. Claire's breath quickened as David pulled her singlet over her head, leaving her in nothing but her bra and jeans. He then grabbed her right wrist and pulled her onto her back as if she were a rag doll; she complied as the unknown excited her, but scared her. Claire waited eagerly for the next moves, when finally she felt a sharp pain on her thigh, the sharp pain stung as she turned slightly, to catch the evil smile on his face, she watched intently from the corner of her eye as his hand came down forcefully on her thigh in the same place, she winced at the pain. Her wriggling from the pain seemed to placate him as he soothing the pain away, by rubbing her thigh lightly. Claire felt her heart beat faster; the sound's muffled again, as if she was drunk, but it was the adverse effects of the added tranquilizer in the cigarette. Her whole body felt alive in a way that it hadn't before, this is what she craved to be surrounded by someone who knew how to control her. David ran his hands over her hips to her belt and zip of her jeans and undid it, they fell to the floor, her underwear followed suit. Wasting no time David began rubbing the head of his erection against her, running his hands to the base of her neck, he held it tightly, almost strangling her, but the pleasure and unfamiliarity excited her. Pushing her head down onto the bed. Claire waited breathlessly as David pulled her towards him and shoved his length into her, hard. She screamed at the feeling, it hurt but she didn't care, she wanted more. He pulled back and shoved back in just as hard, pulling out slowly. He continued that for a few minutes, ramming into her and pulling back slowly. It was torture. Claire cried out again as she began to feel the euphoria hit her the climax was incredible, the world went black as her body shook with the waves of pleasure. David wasn't too far behind when he finally released into her, with rage.

_Claire opened the door of the laundry; the sweat smell of Drovers filled her lungs. The door slammed behind her as she heard the voice she craved to hear, Alex's Tess', Charlottes. She ran around the corner into the kitchen, to find no one there. She stopped looking around confused. Listening intently for the voices again she heard them, they were in her bedroom. She smiled broadly her bedroom: with the sweet smell of horse hair, wood and dirt. She ran up the stair, the light casting shadows across her face, filled with determination. She only began to hear the voice of Alex, but she didn't care she just wanted to see someone, anyone. Getting to the top of the stairs she ran across the landing and bust through her bedroom door. Her eyes lay on Alex, she felt the warmth wrap around her as he smiled,  
>"Took your time McLeod," Alex chuckled opening his arms out to Claire, she hurried to hug him, eager to feel safe, to smell him, to drown in him. She began to fall into his strong embrace….<em>Claire awoke to the loud smash of a bottle; she sat up abruptly, looking around the strange room. Her head began to cloud over, resting it in her hands she racked her brain as to where she could possibly be. Frowning she got out of the bed, she'd obviously slept in. She walked out of the room, the house was dark. Following the voices she heard she finally arrived in the kitchen. Three men were sitting there drinking a bottle of alcohol; she was stunned that people were drinking so early in the day. Looking across the faces she didn't recognise any apart from one, she creased her eyes, when she suddenly remember it was David, she must have gone home with him. She couldn't remember a thing. Walking over to the sink David put his arm around her roughly and pulled her into him. The two men opposite watching her as if she were some kind of prey, looking her up and down, lingering on places where they really shouldn't. Claire frowned slightly,  
>"I'm Mitch," The tallest of them said, his hair short, stubble, green eyes, not much to him. Claire looked to the other,<br>"I'm Jarrod," the other one said, smiling. She cringed slightly at how much charm they lacked, but then again, she didn't remember if David had charm, her head was clouded from the previous night events, all she could remember was walking in the bar, meeting David, and drinking glass after glass of vodka, cocktails you name it. David let her go quickly walking away leaving her with the two barbarians. She turned to the sink and washed out a glass,  
>"Hey lovey, you reckon you could get us an ashtray?" Mitch asked, as he lent on the kitchen counter, which was cluttered with empty beer bottles, cigarette packets, butts and general rubbish. Claire turned the Mitch confused, she didn't even know were the lounge room was let alone an ashtray,<br>"There down there," Jarrod added pointing to one of the low, draws in the corner of the pokey kitchen. Claire creased her eyes at the looks on the faces of the two heathens, but she followed their orders, bending down to look for an ashtray. The draw was full to the brim of old knives and other utensils, she scrounged around, but it wasn't there. Standing up quickly she turned to see the grins on the two men's faces, she turned to face them fully as they laughed,  
>"What?" She asked in a slightly bitchy manner, due to how uncouth these men were,<br>"Nothing," Mitch chuckled but his eyes gave it away, lingering on her underwear, unbeknown to Claire her underwear were quiet thin, leaving little to the imagination. She soon caught on and left the kitchen quickly to find David. Walking around the dark foreign house, she entered the lounge room frantically looking for David; she stopped, almost running into a young boy. He looked only 15, tall, thin and looked as if he'd seen a ghost,  
>"Hi," She exclaimed shocked as the boy just stood there looking over her, but much more innocently then the two cave men back in the kitchen,<br>"He doesn't talk much," David said as he saw Claire, she looked up and immediately noticed the resemblance,  
>"he's your son?" She asked surprised, she didn't recall him saying anything about children,<br>" Yeah, that's Jason," David stated sarcastically rolling his eyes, as he and Claire watched the young boy walk to his room, as if in a trance. The two began to walk back to the kitchen together, David taking a cigarette out,  
>"What am I doing here?" Claire asked frowning; she was beginning to think this was one seriously messed up game or nightmare,<br>"Don't you remember what happened last night?" David asked her, a sly smile appearing on his face,  
>"No,"<br>"Well I met you at the pub, took you home and showed you what a real man can do," David answered, holding his head with pride. Claire frowned trying desperately to remember anything, her frown faded and a smile appeared when she finally put the pieces together, "You remember?" David asked as they both of them entered the kitchen, Claire nodded as David light his cigarette, the smoke billowed out of his pursed lips into the air dancing around the both of them, "You want one?" he asked as him and Claire stood at the breakfast bar with Mitch and Jarrod, she smiled nodding. Taking the cigarette she took a long inhale, the two men watched almost in amazement, as she let it go,  
>"Fuck," Jarrod exclaimed in amazement, that a women of Claire's statue could take a long drag like that. David smiled, Felicity was a real rough diamond, someone who believed every word he said, but little did he know Claire McLeod was ready and waiting to come out, but in time,<br>"Why don't you boys come back later," David suggested giving them a look, which they wouldn't dare to question,  
>"Nah, nah we'll just stay, look after Jason" Mitch said smiling at Claire, who frowned,<br>"Go have your fun, you lucky bugger," Jarrod exclaimed slapping him on the arm, looking at Claire over his shoulder as the two left the kitchen. David walked over to Claire, pulling her into him. She smiled slightly, looking into his eyes, eager to remember if he was really all that was cracked up to be in the bedroom. David held her tightly his hands were everywhere, grabbing and clutching her roughly. Claire felt caught in a current as his physical advances pushed her backward into the bedroom adjacent to the kitchen. His hands found and took off each article of clothing Claire was wearing. She jolted when she fell onto the bed. Somehow they'd crossed the room while roughly grabbing, kissing and now David stood above her. His hands sliding up her sides, over her breasts, before he straddled her body, causing Claire's deep's sins to come out, she went to pull him towards her only to have her arms grabbed hard by David, she gasped with excitement, watching eagerly. Claire felt him twist her arms, the pain of them, causing her to turn onto her stomach. With her ever fastening heart beat ringing in her ears, she heard the zip of David flip, before his hands ran over her back, in rather a violent matter, before his hard grip was felt on the base of her neck. She tensed as the grip on her neck tightened, before she felt David entering her, she screamed in pleasure, putting her head back and closing her eye's. David grasped her hip with his other hand as he moved in her as hard and as fast as he could, her moans echoing around the house, sharp pains began to fill her stomach, as David continued his rough motions, the pain almost unbearable she let out another groan of pain, she didn't remember him being this rough! But although her stomach crapped in pain, her eye's filled with pleasure. Little did she know her gasps, moans and groans could be heard throughout the house. Jason sat on his bed, stone frozen; his father was at it again. He sighed, any 15 year old boy would yearn for more, but Jason sat listening to the every sound, the deep breaths for air, grunts, groans, moans, the slapping of skin, the squeak of the bed springs, he was used to it, he didn't know any better. Mitch and Jarrod, tip toed their way to the bedroom door for a better listening point, the panting and moaning, making the blood run hot for both these barbarians,  
>"Shit listen to that!" Jarrod stated pressing his head against the door as he heard Claire yelp, Mitch pushing Jarrod to the side, pressing his head against the door. Claire's moan's beginning to turn into high pitch gasps the pain and the pleasure wearing her down as she got closer and closer to her orgasm David continued to abuse Claire's body, although she was too far gone in the sounds and feelings of sex to notice. She yelp again clawing at the donna ,she let out yet another piecing scream of pain and pleasure, as she bucked against him, David released his rage within her letting out a sigh of relief. He pulled away from her and slipped his jeans back up to leave Claire, withering in pain, but shaking in pleasure. She clutched her stomach as she pulled the blankets over her. This was her life with hairy barbarians, in god knows where, but at least she had someone that gave her all the pleasure she could get and a little more.<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

18 MONTHS LATER

Stevie Hall had her fairy tale taken from her within minutes, her husband of only a couple of month had died in her hands only hours ago. Grace and Taylor sat the kitchen table, the old musty smell of Drovers circling them. Taylor looked up at Grace, the tears making her eyes heavy,  
>"Stevie told me about their first kiss once," Taylor stated quietly, Grace looked up smiling slightly, "It sounded hilarious," she added smiling back, clutching her hot chocolate,<br>"They were getting Tess' veil," Grace said smiling at the thought, " Alex laughed at her cause she dropped it," Grace stated taking a sip of her coffee, putting it back down gently,  
>"Yeah," Taylor chuckled at the imagine in her head, but that still didn't hide the pain and sorrow the house was filled with. The phone erupted loud in the quiet house, Grace jumped up making sure the ringing didn't wake Stevie,<br>"Hello Drovers"  
>"Grace its Tess, I'm so sorry,"<br>"Hi Tess,"  
>"Is Stevie around?"<br>"No, she's upstairs at the moment," Grace answered, finally a thought filled her head Alex was practically family, her cousins brother in-law, and now he was gone, she grimaced,  
>"Is she okay?" Tess asked quickly, her heart breaking, Stevie had lost her husband, she herself had lost a brother in-law,<br>"She's resting,"  
>"Oh alright, tell her to ring me if she need's anything,"<br>"Yep I will, stay safe Tess,"  
>"Thanks," the phone went dead as Tess answered, the overseas phone lines weren't exactly that great for long phone calls, or any call really. Tess turned hearing the floorboards creak behind her, it was Nick, Tess broke down, falling into him,<br>"I can't believe he's gone Nick," Tess sobbed, her tears soaking Nick's shirt. He caressed her head, "I'm so sorry," Tess added still sobbing, her body shaking with sadness,  
>"Hey what are you sorry for, you couldn't stop the branch," Nick said pulling Tess away from him slightly, to looking into her eyes,<br>"You've lost your brother," Tess answered not losing eye contact as she saw the pain and sadness in her husband's eyes, Nick didn't answered but wrapped her in his arms again,  
>"Poor Stevie," Tess sighed clutching at Nicks shirt, but she gasped pulling away from Nick, "What about Claire!" Tess exclaimed looking at Nick desperately, he shook his head,<br>"Tess, Claire's gone," Nick stated grabbing her arms lightly, to calm her down,  
>"No, she's said she'd come back, Alex was going to wait for her!" Tess stated loudly, coming out of his grasp and walking over to the window to look down on the loud city of Buenos Aires,<br>"Tess for all we know" Nick started,  
>"Nick! I can't live without seeing her again," Tess said interrupting her husband rudely, she began walking towards him again, but her steps were interrupted by baby Claire's cry's. Tess walked away from Nick frustrated he didn't believe her word, her sister's word.<p>

Claire lay on the bed, her head in the clouds, the endless amounts of sex, drugs and alcohol over the course of a year had took its toll. She took a deep breath of a cigarette, she didn't think about Drover's anymore, although her heart still ached for the sweet smell of wheat, cattle, sheep and to see Tess, Alex and Charlotte, she couldn't think about it anymore, she had better things to do! David opened the door, the light from the kitchen billowing into the dark bedroom,  
>"Haven a party tonight," was all he said before closing it, Claire took the last drag of her cigarette butting it out on the bedside table, she was just an object to David, something he could take his anger out on, she had the bruises to show for it, but still she didn't care, she had a roof over her head, a son that was almost hers and someone who gave her love, rough love, but satisfying love. She sat up rubbing her head as the sharp pains of her headache filled her head, she took a deep breath, when her phone rang, the vibrating and sound making her head ache worse. She picked it up quickly,<br>"Hello, Felicity Morgan," she sighed still rubbing her head,  
>"Claire it's Neil,"<br>"Oh Neil," was all she said the shock that he actually called made her speechless,  
>"I was wondering if we could meet somewhere, tell me how everything is there," Claire frowned, Neil actually sounded if he cared, it was a miracle!<br>"Ah yeah sure, "  
>"How about 4:30 behind the old pub?"<br>"Sounds good. See you then,"  
>"Yep," Neil answered quickly before Claire hung up, hearing David and his mates all start to turn the music up…<p>

The music shook the house as Claire sat and watched the clock; she had an hour till she had to leave to see Neil. She was surprised he actually contacted her; she thought she'd been left after a year here, and three back in Sydney. She turned back looking into the lounge room where David was separating the cocaine, into even amounts, she craved a drink or a hit of something but of her appointment restricted her. She glanced outside the over grown garden obstructing her view, she peered down the street to catch a glimpse of a police car, she watched anxiously to see if it was Neil, but it wasn't,  
>"Cops," she stated, before turning to see the bedlam. Mitch and Jarrod were stuffing there joints into their pockets, David was wiping the cocaine off the table and wrapping it carelessly into the tin foil,<br>"What are they doing?" David yelled over the crashing and bashing of panic,  
>"There just looking," Claire answered glancing back out the window as she watched the young female officer walk around the endless cars. Claire got up and walked through the lounge room, still the barbarians were panicking hiding there stolen good and drugs,<br>"Those fucking neighbors of yours!" Jarrod exclaimed harshly at David. Claire turned to see David's reaction, but something else caught her eye, Jason. He wasn't sitting in his usual place, Claire felt the uneasiness run through her,  
>"Ah shut the fuck up!" David yelled taking a step towards Jarrod, his fists held high,<br>"David?" Claire asked, but her voice was not heard through the yelling and cheering in the lounge room,  
>"David! Where the fuck is Jason?" Claire exclaimed at the top of her lings, the desperation finally getting to her, she cringed slightly. She would pay for this; she was merely a sex toy to David not a woman of rights. He looked at her with a disgusted look, but still she stood her ground. Over the year not that she had talked to Jason much, she still understood him. The knowing looks exchanged was all the talking they both needed,<br>"In his fucking room! Where else would he be you fucking slut!" he exclaimed turning his raised fists at Claire from the lounge room. She sighed before walking to Jason's room, but as she was about to open the door she heard a sound she recognized straight away, a gunshot. The feeling of something bad hit her fair in the stomach as she turned to David; his rough, vain exterior had disappeared. Claire walked to the door cautiously, but when she opened it she jolted. Her sobs getting caught in her throat as she ran down the verandah, jumping the stairs landing next to the motionless body of Jason. She grabbed him looking into his lost eyes, there was nothing. Looking over his body, she saw the red blood that streaked his blue singlet next to the crossbow he had slack in his hand. David stood on the verandah in despair his flesh and blood was dead, his anger and hatred drained from him, so too did the colour in his face. Claire's sobs were heard loud and clear now, staring at the young boy's face, when suddenly she saw Alex's face, she gasped desperate the get the image out of her head, but it wouldn't go,  
>"Alex," she sighed with despair, "Alex! Alex!" she screamed over and over again, Alex was dead in her arms. She felt a rough hand grab her arm, it was Neil. Somehow through all the chaos and confusion he had arrived at the house, his routine check had turned into another dash from a state. Claire looked up at him, the lost and helplessness on Claire's face, cause Neil to grimace. She stood up with the help of Neil and was escorted away, but a police officer caught on and ran over to them, Soon the media would be here, so Claire would have to stay in high security hiding,<br>"Excuse me, what are you doing?" he asked grabbing Claire's arm, causing her to pull away quickly as she still screamed, the trauma of it all crashing into her,  
>"Neil Atkinson," Neil answered holding onto his badge still holding the distort Claire up right, she was still screaming, sobbing and stomping the ground, she was now the aggressive one, the vain one,<br>"We need a witness report for the incident," the police officer answered above the whaling of Claire,  
>"Send me the paper work, but we've got to go, right now!" Neil exclaimed as he saw the media van driving up the street. Neil didn't wait for an answer and pulled Claire into his car. He glanced into his rear view mirror, catching a glimpse of the endless camera's scattering around the crime scene including one following Neil's car.<p>

"_A young teenage boy was killed today by a police officer, it was said that the young boy came at her with this crossbow. His father did not wish to say anything, while his suspected step mother is seen here fleeing the scene,_'  
>"Shit!" Neil exclaimed watching in horror at the news report. The news department had got their hands on footage of Neil taking Claire. Claire looked up at Neil, still traumatized at the events of the afternoon. Neil paced the room; Claire followed his path with her eyes, back and forth. She still ached from the pain of losing not only the only person who understood what pain and torture she went through for the past year, but seeing Alex appear dead in her arms,<br>"Right we'll take you to Cape Jaffa, with Rob," Neil answered pausing from his aggravated pacing, pointing at Claire, who frowned,  
>"Where 's Cape Jaffa? And who's Rob?" she asked her eyes dull, the dark circles under her eyes causing her to look overly tired,<br>"South Australia. Robs in witness protection too, if we have two in one spot we can monitor you easier," Neil answered switching the Television off, he walked to the door. Claire was still slumped on the chair her eyes still fixed on him,  
>"Come on the sooner we get going, the sooner you can sleep," Neil stated, but Claire didn't move,<br>"I want to call home," she said aggressively. Neil rolled his eyes not only did he have to put up with the usual stubborn Claire McLeod but now she was on a cocaine withdrawal, the unpredictable was bound to happen,  
>"Claire you can't it's too risky," Neil answered walking up to Claire, he grabbed her arm lightly, she glared up at him,<br>"I want to call Alex!" She exclaimed gritting her teeth at him, he sighed and took her by the arm. Escorting her to the car. The emotions were like a cyclone in Claire twisting and turning sadness, depression, anxiety, aggression all bubbled over in her as Neil drover off, but above all those emotions, above the tragedy she was pleased to get away from Melbourne, the images of Alex whistling in her head left behind, to bad she couldn't leave the bruises behind too…


	6. Chapter 6

Claire lay in bed, Rob next to her. She had met him not only an hour ago after a long trip to Cape Jaffa. He was about her age, but hadn't aged well at all a bit of a rough diamond. Claire was still on her detox, the overwhelming urge for cocaine, for anything was almost unbearable. The room was filled with an awkward silence as they both lay, Claire reading and Rob turned over trying desperate for sleep. He rolled over to face Claire little did she know, he had fallen instantly for her, but didn't dare tell. Relationships in witness protection never work,  
>"How long have you been on the run?" Rob asked his voice raspy, manly a bit like Alex, but these days everything reminded Claire of Alex,<br>"Ah five years," she answered turning to him, he was definitely different from the others, kind, caring, "You?" she asked filling the awkward silence,  
>"Three," Rob answered nodding, taking his stare away from Claire's features to the ceiling. The eerie silence filled the room again, both of them not daring to move,<br>"Did you have a wife or anything?" Claire asked closing her book and placing it on the bedside table,  
>"Ah no, a girlfriend though. What about you?" Rob answered as Claire lay her head down,<br>"Yeah I had my sister, my boyfriend and a daughter," Claire answered looking to Rob, he smiled sincerely at her,  
>"Did you get to call them?" Rob asked looking over Claire's features, she was breath taking, and who ever let her go must have dreaded the day,<br>"Yeah, that's how I found out that, my boyfriend was going to ask me to marry him the day I left," Claire answered turning away from Rob, it was still too painful to talk about it, even think about it,  
>"I'm sorry," Rob answered still looking at her. Everything about her was perfect, but he didn't know the trauma that lay beneath the surface. Rob didn't get an answer, Claire lay her eyes fixed on a bracket on the cupboard, the last two days had been too much all she wanted to do was drink and smoke and sleep, but she couldn't not anymore. She was another made up person, Jesse Willis. Some women who was born and raised near the ocean, but deep inside Claire was that child who rode those hill's, who heard the rain on the tin roof, who heard the galloping of hooves. She was born and bred a McLeod, her hearts home was Drover's Run.<p>

Rob sighed deeply as he stared up at the ceiling. Claire was deep into a dream, he looked over at her as she mumbled and twitched violently, till she sat straight up letting out an almighty scream, Rob sat up straight, as she clawed away from the edge of the bed, her screams horrifying,  
>"Hey," Rob exclaimed as he took her in his arm, she turned around the look of her face, chilling Rob to the bone as she clutched his shirt,<br>"It was Peter," She whaled as she began to cry, she still clutched onto Rob as if he was the only one who could stop her from falling into misery,  
>"Who?" Rob asked as he held her tightly as she shook with fear, still her whaling echoed in the house,<br>"Peter, he was here," Claire said looking into Robs eyes, then glancing back to where she thought she saw Peter. Rob looked at her frowning,  
>"Shh," he held her tightly as she began to relax, how could someone get so messed up, Jesse Willis wasn't as straight as she had played out. Rob laid Claire back down, her whaling now just a small whimper. She lay still staring at the spot where she saw Peter's face when waking up, from a terrible dream, a dream she saw Alex dead, just like she had done when Jason was killed. Claire sighed, her relationship with Peter was always rocky and never good timing, but when it was good, it was perfect, maybe she should go back to him and marry him like she was going to six years ago when she found out she was pregnant. She did love him at one stage and deep down she still did, he was the father of her child after all,<br>"I have to go back," She sighed unknowingly. Claire was going to go to Adelaide and sort this out, even if she had to marry Peter, she didn't want to do this anymore, she was Claire McLeod, the proud, stubborn first daughter of Jack McLeod, not Megan Walsh or Felicity Morgan or Jesse Willis, she was a McLeod through and through.

The sweet smell of coffee entered the room as Rob did, Claire stretched from a hard night of hardly any sleep. Rob smiled as Claire sat up and took the coffee from him. He sat on the bed next to her, watching intently as she took a sip from her coffee, clutching it for warmth,  
>"Didn't get much sleep last night, did you?" Rob asked as Claire yawned, she shook her head before taking another sip of coffee,<br>"I'm sorry bout last night," Claire said quietly as she looked at Rob, he always seemed to care,  
>" It's fine," Rob smiled, "Who's Peter?" he added out of the blue, it took Claire by surprise,<br>"Ah um," She stalled, who was he really? She didn't know, her ex, her lover, her killer, her friend?, " He's the guy trying…. Get me," Claire said reluctantly,  
>"Oh! You find out to much information?" Rob asked eager to find out her story and help her before she left, where ever she would be leaving too,<br>"No he's my ex and the father of my child," Claire said still clutching her coffee tightly, almost as if it was a safety blanket, Claire stopped from a moment and thought hard about Peter,  
>"When we first met we hated each other," she chuckled slightly, "But then he came over for business and it started from there, but after a couple of months I found out he was married, I told him to leave," Claire added staring into the distance, concentrating hard as if reading a book of her life, "But I still loved him, so I made the mistake of taking him back, but not long after I found out he had children. I wasn't going to be the one to break a family up, he left," Claire stated still concentrating hard on the one area on the wall, she grimaced at the haunting memories, she was revealing,<br>"Then in a stupid mistake I had a one night stand with him, never saw him for a while after that and that's when I fell for my best mate," Claire smiled slightly. Why had she taken so long to find out her real feelings for Alex? Why? "Then he got nasty, blackmailed me and said if I married him he wouldn't take my property. I was so close to accepting, cause I had found out I was pregnant, but my love for my best mate was too much, he found out about it and now I'm here," Claire shrugged as Rob nodded, slightly shocked she was so open with her past memories that obviously hurt he so much,  
>"Where are you going today?" Rob asked as Claire flung the covers off her and sat at the edge of the bed,<br>"Nowhere!" She said abruptly, determined her trip to Adelaide would be a secret until it was sorted. Rob nodded before leaving Claire to get dressed, she was up to something he could sense it.

The ringing in Robs ear was loud and irritating, till finally Neil picked up,  
>"Hey Rob, what up?"<br>"It's Jesse, she's gone somewhere," Rob said looking at the clock, she'd been gone an hour,  
>"Where did she go?"<br>"I dunno', she had a dream and screamed out Peter and then when she thought I was asleep she said she had to go somewhere," Rob answered, his worry had increased at Neil's questions,  
>"Did you ask her this morning?"<br>"No, she told me about Peter though,"  
>"Ah no!" Neil exclaimed worried, this caused Rob's heart to almost jump from within him, he hadn't believed in love at first sight, until Jesse came along. Her eyes although dull, where so engaging and when she smiled it was breathe taking. Rob would watch her walk up the hallway; she had such a confident, womanly walk for someone so fragile. The way she walked accentuated her hips, the way they slopped down from her waist, "I think I know where she is?" Neil exclaimed shaking Rob from his blissful thoughts,<br>"Right, you want me to help?" he asked hoping he could see Jesse again, safe and sound,  
>"No, stay put and keep a look out," Neil stated before hanging up. Ron shrugged before putting the phone down, but inside he was turning; Jesse obviously had done something stupid. Rob looked up at the clock again and then out the window, it was pitch black. He sighed before making his way to the bedroom, to the closet where Jesse's bags were, not that she had many, like himself. He was determined to find her story and sort her out; she was wavering on the edge of something horrible. Rob found a bag; he unzipped it quickly, digging through her clothes. He dug through them until his hand found something, something like a bundle of letters or something similar he pulled it out to reveal a bundle of pictures. Rob stopped for a moment carefully taking the ribbon off the top picture. It was Jesse obviously younger, her hair shorter, he examined closer wiping the dust that had collected; he saw Jesse and what looked to be her fiancé and her daughter. He brought the picture eye level, studying the three people in the picture. There was that smile he craved from Jesse; it was priceless, she was so happy. He turned to the next picture of her and her daughter, he smiled her daughter definitely had her eyes, bright and blue. The next was an old picture of two young girls, he creased his eyebrows concentrating hard to figure them out, and it was Jesse as a young girl and her sister he guessed. 'Born on the land' echoed in his head, ever picture had dirt, the dust, the wide brimmed hats, the scenery. The next picture said it all, Jesse on a horse, laughing, he felt his heart flutter. She was amazingly gorgeous, even behind all that dust and muck. The last three pictures he spread on the bed, one with an old man, obviously her father they had the same smile and the next was of a man with Jesse taken years back, he was short, business looking. Rob finally put the pieces together that was Peter he recognized the resemblance in Jesse's daughter, he grimaced, how could he even think of hurting Jesse? The last picture, gripped Rob tightly he held it up to the sunlight, it was of a sign 'Drovers Run, C.L. McLeod, Horse Trainer for Australian Bloodlines' was what it read, with Jesse next to it, wearing one of her picture perfect smiles. Her real name started with c, she was a McLeod. He sighed again, psyching himself out of his feelings for Jesse or whoever she was. Jesse was obviously taken by her fiancé, a woman of the land, the person he met was not the same in the pictures, and he had no chance, no chance at all especially if Neil couldn't find her.<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

Claire stretched as she got to her hotel room, the drive making short work of what rest she did get. She had gotten to Adelaide safe and sound, but now only needed to find out which jail Peter was situated in and then things could go back to the way they were or at least that's what she thought. She yawned scrounging around in her bag until she found the key,  
>"Hey!" someone yelled as she heard running behind her, she turned to see a young boy, only about 20, his accent a heavy Irish one, "You reckon you could show me round?" he asked arriving next to her breathless,<br>"Um, I'm just visiting," Claire said frowning at the young boy,  
>"Oh really, where you from?" he asked, Claire frowned again, why on earth did he want to know that? Young boys these days were so, so strange,<br>"Cape Jaffa, u?" Claire answered leaning on the door, she had yet to open,  
>"Melbourne," he answered with a sheepish smile,<br>"Look I'm really tired, do you mind?" Claire said sighing all she wanted to do was forget about Sydney, forget about Melbourne, forget about the abuse she went through, forget about Jason's death and get back home to Drover's Run,  
>"Oh yeah oh course, night," he smiled before walking off, Claire followed him with her eyes as he turned the corner, she finally opened the door, with some struggle from the key. The sweet smell of lavender and the view of Adelaide hit her as she locked the door behind her. She smiled contently only 68.2 kilometers and she'd be home, she threw her things down and collapsed on the bed exhausted.<p>

Arching her back Claire awoke from her sleep, glancing over at the clock she realized she'd slept for an hour, not long. She yawned and stretched as she got up. The hotel room was filled with darkness but the flicker of a light filled the kitchen area as Claire made her way over there. She yawned again, the last week she'd guessed she only got about five hours sleep all up. A knock on the door was heard loud throughout the still room, it startled the sleepy Claire. She frowned curiously at the door, who would be awake at this time of night knocking on her door. Claire made her way over to the door, her eyes still half opened as she opened it. She didn't have time to react when the young boy she met only an hour ago pushed her forcefully back into the hotel room, she went to scream but his hand was over her mouth, she tried everything to wriggle free but her sleepy body wouldn't react the way she wanted to,  
>"Let me go!" she yelled but it wasn't heard as his hand was planted firmly across her mouth. He pushed her down on the bed, which was not far from the door. The young boy looked into her eyes for the first time since meeting, they were filled with the same look as David's did every night after a heavy drug and alcohol filled day,<br>"Hi Claire," He said slyly, Claire froze, this must be the hit man, who else would know her name? She was a goner for sure. "I've been looking everywhere for you," he stated through gritted teeth, Claire started to feel the tears well in her eyes, she wouldn't be able to go home to Drovers, she wouldn't be able to see Alex, Tess or Charlotte, she had just convinced herself she was going to die there and then. The hit man grabbed a roll of masking tape from his back pocket and stuck it violently over her mouth,  
>"Let me go!" She tried to scream louder, kicking around but it was no use the tape was stuck hard and her arms where now being tied behind her back with rope, the harsh material scratching her. The more the hit man tried to restrain her, the more kicking she did. She wasn't going down without a fight!<br>"Sit still!" The hit man yelled pulling a handgun from his jacket; Claire froze on the spot as she looked directly down the barrel of the gun, just like she had done years before in Sydney, it brought back the terror of before…._"Megan put the gun down,"  
>"No!"<br>"Megan please put the gun down,"  
>"Why should I listen to you?"<br>"Because we're friends, I'll help you with whatever you want,"  
>"Megan back up to us,"<br>"You are not my friend, your with Peter aren't you?...See I knew it!...You slept with me first,"  
><em>The words echoes in her head as she lay curled in a ball, her hands and feet tired together as the hit man stood over her from behind, she was shaking with fear with each passing minute waiting for him to shoot her, but it didn't come, the shot didn't come. Claire felt him get onto the bed besides her and lent over her face,  
>"I'm meant to kill you Claire McLeod," He said snidely, Claire heard her heart beat vibrate her whole body, her breathing was heavy with fear, "But you see, I never get anything from just killing," He stated, Claire didn't know what he was going on about, she just prayed someone would come to her rescue, "I want little more," he breathed in her ear, she shivered slightly still shaking with fear, "If I take the tape off," he said running his finger across her cheek, she tried to pull away but couldn't, "You won't scream will you?" He asked pushing his gun to the back of her head, she shook her head quickly, he ripped the tape off, it stung, "You were going to see Peter weren't you," He said as his hands traveled over her stomach to her belt, she whimpered slightly , still struggling away from him as slowly as she could," Weren't you?" He said louder, eager for an answered,<br>"Yes," She whimpered a sob escaping from her as he pulled at her jeans, "No, please," She said looking up at him as best she could, her eyes pleading with him, he laughed a sadistic laugh grabbing her by the shirt on her back, she flinched slightly, but at least the gun wasn't against her head. The hit man positioned her against the bed, he wrapped his hands around her waist roughly,  
>"No, no, no please," Claire said quietly, her head beginning to fill with the painful memories of the previous week… <em>"Get in the fucking bed," David yelled walking up to her his fists held high,<br>"No!" She answered defiantly,  
>"Now!" He yelled grabbing her arm violently; Claire cringed at the pain,<br>"No!" She yelled kicking and screamed as he forced himself on her…. "Stop!" Claire screamed as David forced her clothes off, "Stop!" She screamed again he didn't listen and restrained her violently…_The hit man like David didn't take any notice of her pleading and went to pull at her clothes. Claire lay still quivering with fear,  
>"Help!" She yelled at the top of her lungs, her head was pulled back harshly and the gun pulled to her throat,<br>"You said you wouldn't yell!" He yelled into her face as he turned her onto her back, causing her shoulders to ache. Claire looked into his eyes, red with anger, until the door of the hotel was opened with force, Claire glanced over to see Neil, she'd never been so happy to see him,  
>"Evan let her go!" Neil called as the hit man pushed the gun into Claire's throat she coughed at the pressure. Neil walked slowly towards Evan: the hit man, with back up close behind,<br>"Don't come any closer," Evan hissed pressing the gun harder into Claire's throat, she was sobbing now,  
>"Evan get away from her," Neil said firmly, but Evan had other ideas as he cocked the handgun and place his finger on the trigger, Claire watched in horror as seconds passed by, his finger pressing harder on the trigger, when all of a sudden a gunshot ran out. Neil stood glued to the floor, filled with shock and confusion at what had just happened. He withdrew his gun slightly, not knowing whether it was his gun that went off or Evan's, he watched the blood soak into the bed, not wanting to breath they stood waiting until there was movement. Neil drew his gun seeing Evan's body move, but it was motionless as it fell to the floor with a 'thud'. Under him there was Claire covered in his blood, shaking, sobbing, crying hard, she just wanted someone to wake her up from this nightmare. Neil walked over to Claire cautiously as his backup checked Evan's slumped body,<br>"I can't do this anymore!" She whaled as Neil took her in his arms, untying the ropes on both her feet and hands carefully, she'd almost become a part of him over the years it cut him up to see her deteriorate so fast. Claire wrapped her arms around Neil ,once untied, "I can't do this anymore," she sighed between her sobs, Neil caressed her head softly,"I can't," She sighed again exhausted mentally and physically,  
>"Claire you don't have too," Neil said with a smile, but Claire couldn't see, she had buried herself into him, not wanting to see Evan dead, scared the horrify image of Alex dead would appear,<br>"I don't want too," She sobbed, sniffling as she looked up to meet Neil's eyes,  
>"Claire you can go home, to Gungellan, to Drovers," Neil smiled at her, she frowned confused at him, she'd thought this nightmare would go on for the rest of her life, till she was hunted down and killed,<br>"Really" She asked her voice barely audible,  
>"Really, Evan was the last of them," Neil smiled as he saw a small smile start to appear on Claire's lips,<br>"Back to Drovers? No more names?" she asked slightly taking by surprise, still not believing what had just come out of Neil's mouth,  
>"No more names, your Claire McLeod," Neil said chuckling at Claire's disbelief,<br>"Claire McLeod-Ryan," Claire smiled, remembering the time she snapped at an officer from calling her Miss McLeod after she found out Alex was going to propose, Neil laughed and so too did Claire, she was going home, she was finally going home. In a split second all her painful memories where pushed to the side, she was going home that's all that mattered.


	8. Chapter 8

Claire sat in Neil's car, tired but ecstatic she could go home, smell the clean air of Drover's, taste the sweat and dirt on her lips. Neil tapped his thumbs on the steering wheel as they waited for Rob to drop Claire's things off. Rob pulled up behind their car, Claire almost shot from the car, eager to get her things and go. Rob looked at her as she strode towards him, wearing a broad smile, like the ones in the pictures, he felt sorrow, he was about to lose the closest thing to a lover he had, before being taken away from his girlfriend,  
>"Thanks Rob," Claire smiled taking her bags from him, he smiled sincerely,<br>"Call me Rodger," he said as she shook his hand, the second and last touch he had of the woman he fell head over heels for, but now she was going to be taken from him,  
>"Rodger," Claire smiled as their hands parted, " Call me Claire," she replied as Rob stared at her, lost in her pure beauty,<br>"Claire I have something to tell you," Rodger stated as Claire began to walk off, she turned and smiled at him, "You gentled me Claire," he said walking up to her, taking her hand into his, so soft and delicate, " Before I met you I was.." he trailed off, getting lost in her eyes again, "I was lost. Your gorgeous," he gushed gently rubbing his thumb on her hand, she smiled slightly embarrassed,  
>"Rodger I," Claire trailed off, treading as lightly as she could to tell Rodger she didn't feel the same, he smiled expectantly at her,"You're a really nice guy, but,"<br>"Your fiancé ," Rob sighed defeated, Claire nodded,  
>"I hope you can see your girlfriend soon," Claire said patting him lightly on his forearm, he refused to look her in the eye, the hurt was too much. Claire sighed feeling quiet guilty to break his heart, she'd never done that before, she was always the heartbroken. She smiled before kissing Rodgers cheek ever so lightly. Rodger savoured the feeling of her lips on his cheek, like a plump felt rose petal, so soft, "Good luck," Claire said as she met his eyes, they showed contentment. Rodger nodded as Claire walked back to the car, she smiled and waved at him before getting into the car and drove off, to her home, her heart's home, Drovers Run.<p>

Claire couldn't wipe the smile off her face, they had just past the Gungellan turn off and were on their way to Drovers Run, she looked across at the browning fields of wheat, barley, while some where filled with cattle, sheep. She had the windscreen down, taking a deep breath; it relieved all the stress in her shoulders as she smelt the warm smell of summer, dust and gum trees. Neil glanced across at Claire, he'd never seen her this happy, ever. It gave him great gratitude, he had helped her get home, but he still didn't trust that smile, somewhere deep inside of Claire were the past lives, her past memories, her past feelings, he grimaced at the thought of what could happen. Neil had tried to talk to her but all she could talk about was Alex, Charlotte, Tess and Drovers. Claire finally saw the Drovers Run sigh, her smile increased as they turned into the drive way, but as Neil stopped the car so Claire could take in her surroundings she frowned. The sign had changed, it was no longer: 'Claire Louise McLeod and Alex Marion Ryan Equine Services', but 'Drovers Run, Boolaroo Centre'. Claire sighed as Neil continued down the drive, maybe Tess had sold Drovers, maybe it was no long McLeod land, Claire shook herself from her worries and cleared her head, her cheeks ached from smiling, but she didn't care, there over the hill was the Drovers Run house, it took her breath away as the gum tree's framed the old brick castle and the ever changing paddocks where like a sea of golden surrounding it,  
>"My hearts home," she sighed contently looking at Neil, he smiled back at her. It felt amazing to give someone what they wished for, amazing. Neil pulled into the second drive way which was lined with tree's and blue sky, she'd missed it so much, she couldn't wait to hold her sister, her daughter and her fiancé and stare up at the stars tonight, that was the thing she missed, the stars, the sunsets and sunrises, always stunning on Drover's. Neil pulled up at the side of the house, Claire looked across to the horse yards, and the windmill and bath, where she would always go to console her emotions, not that she let them out that often back in her day. Claire got out of the car after Neil, he handed her, her bags and looked at her as if he was a proud parent, Claire was and always will be with him, he'd looked after her the longest,<br>"Thanks you so much, for everything," Claire exclaimed smiling back at Neil,  
>"My pleasure, now go and find that fiancé of yours," Neil laughed as he patted her on the shoulder, she laughed before walking off into the yard, her steps quickening. Neil smiled to himself as Claire disappeared around the corner, he'd never felt better about giving someone what they wanted. Claire walked into the laundry, she sighed loudly looking into the kitchen, it still smelt the same, the same wooden, musty smell, it was pure bliss,<br>"Hello?" Claire called out, her voice echoed around the halls of the homestead, she listened intently, there was no answer, "Hello?" she called out again, but her breath was cut short by footsteps, suddenly she felt really nervous, but that was so silly this was her home, why was she nervous? Claire stood glued to the floor as she saw Jodi walk around the corner, her expression one of complete horror and surprise, her eyes wide. Claire smiled at Jodi, she'd grow up so much and was now pregnant, Claire could easily see that,  
>"Jodi," she stated with delight that someone she knew was still here, Jodi furrowed her brow staring at the woman in front of her, it sounded like Claire, but somehow it wasn't the same Claire she'd once knew. The old Claire was strong, confident, youthful, but now, she was looking rather old, exhausted and her hair had grown much longer and she looked altogether dishevelled,<br>"Claire?" Jodi asked cautiously, wondering if she had let the hormones go straight to her head,  
>"Yes!" Claire exclaimed brightly, able to gain her legs back, she began to walk towards Jodi, "It me," she gushed wrapping her arms around Jodi. Jodi stood rooted to the ground as her half-sister hugged her, she frowned to herself how on earth is she going to tell Claire about that, or Tess even or Charlotte, or even Alex. Claire and Jodi parted; Jodi was still shocked that Claire, the same Claire she saw 'die' years ago,<br>"Where's Tess?" Claire asked leaning on the kitchen table, Jodi's stomach lurched violently, she really didn't want to tell Claire all the details, how could she? Claire frowned at Jodi's expression, "Jodi where's Tess?" Claire asked firm, now that was the Claire Jodi remembered,  
>"Ah Claire when you di.." Jodi trailed off she couldn't use that word, 'died' she was standing right in front of her, "When you left, a lot changed," Jodi stated sitting down on the chair her back aching with every waking minute, Claire sat down opposite to Jodi,<br>"And?" Claire said shaking her head expectantly,  
>"Well first Peter,<br>"Peter!" Claire exclaimed shocked, "What did he do?" Claire asked in complete fits of panic,  
>"No! no," Jodi said as Claire sat back down calmly, "Peter wanted custody of Charlotte, but Tess ended up giving Charlotte to Julia, his wife," Jodi said reluctantly as she watched Claire expression change from worried to anger in a split second,<br>"Why, she promised to take care of her?" Claire asked seething with anger, how could her sister do that when she knew what Peter did to her,  
>"Well she didn't want Charlotte to miss out on knowing her sisters like she did," Jodi answered, Claire looked away from Jodi, Tess had done the right thing technically, but still Julia was with Peter, Julia was the reason things never worked with Peter,<br>"Where's Tess now?" Claire asked looking into the hallway as if expecting to see Tess appear,  
>"Well she and Nick married each other and left for Argentina,"<br>"Argentina?" Claire asked completely caught off guard,  
>"Nick got offered a job, she left with him and had a baby girl over there," Jodi answered smiling, Tess had named her baby after the woman sitting in front of her,<br>"Ah I knew they were made for each other," Claire smiled the chemistry between Nick and Tess was so clear, Nick was better off marring Tess then Claire like her father's plans, "So you're the only one I have apart from Alex but's he's at Killarny," Claire smiled, Jodi swallowed hard, how could they have not told Claire what happened?  
>"Ah Claire," Jodi said quietly contemplating wether to tell her the truth, "Alex loved you so much and when you left he, he really missed you," Jodi paused for a second, Claire was blissfully unaware of the horror that had yet to come, Alex re-marrying twice and then passed away and the whole sister thing, "He still loved you and always will but he married someone, it didn't last though," Jodi said treading very lightly, Claire didn't say a word, still processing the words that came out of Jodi's mouth, "He did though love someone else, it was Stevie,"<br>"Stevie Hall?" Claire interrupted slightly hurt her best friend took her fiancé, she should have known she was flirting with him the night before she left, Jodi nodded,  
>"He married her Claire and had a child,"<br>"Where are they?" she asked her voice filling with anger,  
>"W-well," Jodi stuttered, before sighing Claire had to find out one way or another, "Alex died Claire," Jodi said leaning back on the chair, slightly frightened at what Claire would do. Claire felt rage fill her,<br>"You Lying?" She hissed standing up abruptly, Jodi looked at her fearful, she'd never seen so much rage fill Claire eye's, never,  
>"I wish I was," Jodi said quietly, barely audible, Claire paced back and forth once, over coming with anger,<br>"Your Lying!" Claire exclaimed with rage, Jodi went to comfort her with a touch, but Claire pulled away violently, "Don't touch me!" Claire said before running into the hallway and up the stair, Jodi couldn't stop to feel guilty she had to get to Claire before she went to her bedroom. Jodi got up as fast as she could and walking hastily up the stairs only to hear the door shut loudly,  
>"What did you do to my room?" She yelled at the top of the stair, Jodi looked up at her, Claire's face was covered with strands of stray hair but her eye's wide with rage,"<br>"Ah-ah we.." Jodi went to explain but Claire trudged past her, this was not how it was supposed to be, this was no how her life was meant to turnout,  
>"Claire where are you going?" Jodi called after her, trying to catch up to her but it was no luck, taking the keys to the Merc Claire got in and sped away, trying to run from the pain and sorrow that began to fill every cell of her body.<p>

Claire sat in the car opposite the Gungellan Pub, her watering hole, where she spend many drunken nights singing and dancing, all forced a pone by Tess of course and many lunches with friends and family, Alex. She swallowed a sob that threatened to come out, Alex was gone forever, and he never waited for her. The emotional pain was too much, she desperately needed a drink. Getting out of the car, the wind wrapped itself around her, her jeans and jacket still not enough to fight the cold, but the pub was warm, it was a shame about the welcome though. All the hard bitten old farmers who saw her grow up, saw her funeral, and looked on in disbelief. The pub was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop as Claire sat down at the bar, many blokes walked away from her in confusion, was that really Claire McLeod, the born and bred stubborn daughter of Jack McLeod, it looked like her,  
>"What would you like?" The oblivious bar tender asked, Claire looked up trying to avoid the awkward stares and whispering,<br>"Whiskey," she said quietly, all the old farmers listening to see if the woman who looked like Claire sounded like her and the answer was yes, it was a surprise none of them had a heart attack from someone coming 'back from the dead'  
>"What do you want with the whiskey?" the young bar tender asked looking at the old farmers strangely,<br>"Just want a whiskey!" she snapped out of the blue, she breathed deeply trying to calm herself down her whole life had just turned out to be one big pile of bullshit. The bar tender handed her drink rather intimidated and took the money, while the pub began to fill with talk and laughter like it was before Claire's entrance, but no one dare approach her, she didn't mind, who knows what she might have done if one of them had a go at her,  
>"You new around here of something?" a young man asked, Claire frowned at him disgusted, but by pure accident, he actually wasn't that bad looking, brown short hair, blue eyes, strong jaw, hands,<br>"Nuh," She exclaimed finally taking that gulp if whiskey she craved, it burnt her throat, lips and tongue, but it tasted so good,  
>"Haven't seen you round before?" The guy asked giving Claire his best smile, she groaned, rolling her eyes as she got another whiskey and drank it, the burn less intense,<br>"If you tryina pick me up, forget it," Claire sighed, she was though contemplating whether or not to let this guy have a little fun, but then again the last time she picked someone up from the pub, it ended up being her worst nightmare, she shrugged her shoulders as the young boy stuttered for an answer to her previous statement. She clutched his shirt and dragged him out of the pub; again the hard bitten old farmers looked on in complete shock horror. The young boy had never felt so turned on by such power.

Jodi sat at the kitchen table her head in her hands; she'd only told Claire half the story and she'd already sped off to god knows where. She still had to tell her that they were sisters, her cousins Grace, Regan and Jaz now worked and lived on the farm, on a muster at that point in time, Stevie still worked and lived on Drovers with Alex's son Xander and they only changed her room for Nick and Tess. Jodi sighed before grabbing the phone she had to ring Tess; she'd know what to do. Dialling the number Jodi didn't even think of the time difference in Buenos Aires. She waited and waited resting her hand on her ever growing stomach,  
>"Hola Tess McLeod-Ryan. ¿Cómo puedo ayudarle? " Jodi had no idea what Tess had just said but that wasn't the reason for ringing,<br>"Tess," Jodi sighed rather panicked, Tess on the other line frowned,  
>"What? What's wrong has something happened to the baby?" Tess asked worried sick, her baby Claire now 2 would miss out on another sister or even a brother,<br>"No, no the babies fine, it's Claire….she's back," Jodi said eager to hear Tess' reaction, which was complete joy, but a worried hand came to rest on her mouth, Claire was back, her sister was finally back!  
>"Is she okay?" Tess asked panicked that she was back because of something bad,<br>"No, well I don't know.." Jodi exclaimed as tears began to fill her eyes another perk of pregnancy over load of emotions,  
>"What? What do you mean you don't know?"<br>"She's not the same Claire Tess," Jodi stated remember clearly seeing Claire just hours ago, she was thin, drawn, tired, her hair dishevelled,  
>"Is she there I wanna talk to her?" Tess asked quickly her head was going too fast for her mouth, she had so many questions,<br>"No, I told her about Charlotte and you and Alex and she sped off," Jodi sobbed, what if it was her fault her sister never came back, the guilt would be too much,  
>"It's alright Jodi, don't worry it's not good for the baby. Did you tell her about the whole sister thing?" Tess asked calming down a little, now that Nick had entered the room, hearing his wife in a fluster,<br>"No,"  
>"Okay don't, tell her everything but that, as soon as I hang up I'm booking a ticket back to Australia, I'll help you," Tess answered she knew her sister wasn't dead, she knew she'd come back one day and today was the day,<br>"Tess you don't have to," Jodi objected think of the money Tess would have to spend not to mention Nick an baby Claire,  
>"Jodi, I'm coming just stay put okay,"<br>" Thanks Tess, Don't be long, please," Jodi said wiping her tears away as Stevie entered the house with baby Xander,  
>"I'll talk to you real soon,"<br>"Bye," Jodi said before ending the call, the look on her face told Stevie something was up,  
>"What's wrong?" Stevie asked caressing her son gently,<br>"It's Claire, she's back," Jodi aid quietly still trying to wrap her head around the whole situation,  
>"Oh no," was all Stevie could say, she basically went behind her best friend's back and took her husband. Yep that sounded bad, really bad. Stevie was bound to get a mouth full. Meanwhile at the pub, Claire pushed the young boy down on the backseat of the Merc, never had she thought she would do this in her father's car, but she relished being in charge for once. The un-named boy lay watching excited and aroused at this older alluring woman who straddled him a smirk on her face as her hair was hanging down like a black silk curtain on one side of her face, tickling the sensitive skin on the boy's neck. The young boy struggled to touch her, to kiss her, to caress her, but he wasn't in charge Claire was when she tenderly bent down and kissed him, she then let her tongue travel over the main vein in his neck, his cheekbone. The young boy almost overcome with pleasure did the same, kissing the smooth skin of Claire's neck; he bit her slightly toying with her, she breathed heavily as she unbuttoned his shirt and his belt and zipper, evoking more passion as he ran his hands over her breasts, Claire lent back closing her eye's she knew she had to hurry it up, young boys never had much stamina in the bedroom department. She undid her belt quickly before pulling them off with great difficulty in the confined space and the young man's hands exploring her freely. Finally she lowered herself; lost in the euphoria both Claire and the young boy didn't take long to reach their peak, all the while kissing and grabbing at each other. Both worked up, Claire felt the young boy release into her as her breath's began to get caught in her throat, before collapsing on top of him exhausted. For once in year's she actually got some pleasure from a male, who wasn't controlling or abusive.<p> 


	9. Chapter 9

Jodi sat in Matt's arms on the veranda, he watched as she dropped off to sleep, she was exhausted and shivering from the cold,  
>"Jod's lets go inside," he stated sweeping the blonde strand from her eyes,<br>"No, I have to wait for Claire," she yawned as they heard a car pull up, it was bound to be Claire. Jodi smiled up at Rob while he rolled his eyes he'd heard a lot about Claire from Alex, how she was the love of his life, this life and the next. Jodi went to get up and confront Claire, but Matt grabbed her arm gently,  
>"Just wait a bit Jod's," he said as they listened to the house erupt with crashing and banging, they frowned at each other before making their way up the stairs were the sound was coming from. Stevie poked her head out of her room, half asleep,<br>"what's that noise?" She asked whispering, trying to get baby Xander back to sleep,  
>"It's Claire," Jodi said rolling her eyes, Stevie looked on in surprise as Jodi knocked on the bedroom door, "Claire?" Jodi inquired still hearing the unusual noises of crashing, banging and dragging. Stevie stood next to Matt as Jodi opened to see Claire moving the furniture,<br>"Ah Claire! What are you doing?" Jodi exclaimed as Claire began taking the bed apart as best she could in her drunken state. Stevie looked at Claire and the whole world froze, that was the once straight talking Claire McLeod that followed the rules, this wasn't the same Claire. Stevie came back to earth when her's and Claire's eyes met. Claire's eyes were filled with confusion, determination and hate. Looking down at baby Xander, Claire felt anger wash over her, before here eyes prickled. Stevie watched Claire as she walked up to her staring at Xander, he had Alex's eyes,  
>"Claire, I'm so sorry," Stevie said treading carefully, Claire looked up to Stevie's deep brown eyes,<br>"Get out," She hissed stepping toward Stevie to be eye to eye, almost nose to nose,  
>"Claire your drunk, come on. Finish whatever you're doing tomorrow," Jodi said trying to take Claire away from Stevie. Matt watched in horror, he and Jodi did a stint in witness protection but not as long as Claire and thank god, because she was a totally different person,<br>"Don't touch me!" Claire snapped turning to Jodi with anger, which caused Jodi to back away slightly, she'd always knew her older sister was scary at times, but this had no word to even explain,  
>"Get out!" Claire repeated to Stevie louder, her eye's burning holes in Stevie,<br>"Claire," Stevie started trying to think how Claire felt, but was interrupted by Claire's loud yell of, "Get Out!" it echoed in the house as Stevie walked down the stair with Xander reluctantly. It looked like she had to stay at Killarny tonight as for Jodi and Matt they stopped and watched as Claire made her way into the spare room where her bed was, the old wooden frame, still a beautiful mahogany brown and it still smelt of home,  
>"Claire that's mine and Matts room you can't do this," Jodi said trying to stand in Claire's way but she was forcefully pushed out the way, luckily not into anything due to her being pregnant. Jodi felt betrayed by her sister, hurt that she could be so heartless, but Jodi didn't know the demons Claire had to fight, but in time they would come out to haunt the lives of everyone close to Claire.<p>

Claire sighed as she opened her eyes, but grimaced and shut them again, she hoped that yesterday was a dream and that she was home with Alex next to her and Charlotte in her auntie's arms, but that wasn't so. She looked around the room she had fallen asleep in, the main bedroom now looking a bit more like it used to, half the walls were painted the beautiful chestnut brown, the bed now put together, the only thing left was to get the old furniture and old pictures. Claire lay on her back gazing up at the ceiling where years before she lay listening to Alex breathe or where she held Charlotte as she grizzled, it wasn't the same, nothing was. A thought entered Claire's mind as she began to reminisce about the old days, what if Jodi had lied to her about Alex? What if he was still alive? She sat up quickly, causing a sharp pain to jar in her head, she was feeling a little fragile from last night's alcohol, but that didn't faze her she was going to Killarny to see for herself.

Stevie sat on the bonnet of the Merc waiting for Tess's charter plane to land, she saw it in the distance and a wave of relief washed over her, she couldn't believe that woman who told her to get out was Claire McLeod. The plane landed safely as Stevie stood upright holding onto Xander, he was all she had left of Alex, and Claire had nothing. Stevie understood that but that still wasn't an excuse to act like a complete bitch,  
>"Stevie!" Tess waved as she carried an armful of bags and in the other was baby Claire, now a toddler,<br>"Ah thank god you're here Tess," Stevie gushed hugging Tess, she wished she could have been able to see Tess on a happier note but this was a good as it got,  
>"How is she?" Tess asked as they began to fill the car with Tess and baby Claire's bags,<br>"Um, not good," Stevie said as they both got into the car after fastening the two children in the back,  
>"Where is she now?" Tess asked wanting to know every little thing about her sister; Claire could be a handful, she knew that, but surely she wasn't that bad,<br>"Last time I saw her she was a Drover's, that was before she kicked me out," Stevie said sighing, Drovers was her home, she had a stake in the place,  
>"She what?" Tess exclaimed shocked as they began to drive out of the airstrip,<br>"She kicked me out, while she was demolishing Jodi and Matt's room," Stevie stated in a matter of fact tone, she was trying to warn Tess, Claire had lost control and was spiralling into oblivion,  
>"Claire would never do that," Tess said frowning confused at Stevie, but she nodded, Claire had done just that..<p>

There was someone in the shed as Claire got out of the Drover's Ute; it wasn't the same as her dad's, but still she was at Killarny and could see a figure of a man's shadow in the shed, she smiled and ran and ran the gravel crunching under her feet as she arrived at the door, she bust into the open door about to yell 'Alex' and run into his open arms, but it wasn't Alex at all, it was a short man with blonde hair,  
>"Who are you?" she asked disappointed Alex wasn't there but maybe who ever this man was could tell her, her spun around and frowned,<br>"Marcus Turner, who are you?" Marcus asked just as rudely as Claire had done,  
>"Claire McLeod, Where's Alex?" She asked resting her hands on her hips, the good old fashion Claire style, she loved being free, no more restrictions, no more names, she had to find Alex, and then get Charlotte back so she could be truly happy with her family. Marcus didn't know much about Claire, only that Alex was going to propose but she passed in a car accident, he didn't know the true story like the rest of Gungellan,<br>"Claire McLeod? As in McLeod's on Drover's Run?" he asked questioning this woman's judgement, Claire looked at him strangely,  
>"Of course I'm Claire McLeod from Drover's run, who else would I be?" She hissed getting impatient with the weird fellow, why couldn't he just have been Alex, "Where's Alex?" she added impatiently,<br>"Uh, Alex passed away," Marcus said giving up, he already learnt a valuable lesson then to get into a fight with a McLeod, he learnt the hard way. Claire furrowed her brow, why was everyone ruining her arrival?  
>"Alex can't be dead!" She protested,<br>"Well he is, his graves on the hill overlooking Drovers and Killarny, see for yourself," Marcus exclaimed turning back to the oily motor, he was fixing before tornado Claire came along. Claire was about to leave when she almost ran into the young boy she'd spent the previous night with,  
>"Hey! What are you doing here?" He asked a smiling forming easily on his face, Claire froze, that's just what she needed some clingy teenager following her everywhere after a one night stand,<br>"Hey," she said as politely as she could with Marcus' eyes watching her and Lachlan closely,  
>"You doing anything tonight?" He asked gently touching her arm, she sighed 'oh god' he was a clinging teenager,<br>"Ah yeah, I'll see how I go," Claire said again in her polite lady like manner, as Marcus sniggered behind her back,  
>"Great see you round six," He said kissing her on the cheek, she shuddered as he left around the corner, sensing Marcus' eyes on her she turned and glared at him before leaving the shed quickly in a huff, she was getting sick of people's games, she was about to see if Alex Marion Ryan really was deceased.<p>

Stevie and Tess arrived at Drovers, Jodi greeted them with a warm smile,  
>"It's so good to see you Tess," Jodi exclaimed hugging her tightly as Stevie got the children out followed by Tess' baggage,<br>"Where is she?" Tess asked as she and Jodi helped Stevie with the bags,  
>"I have no idea," Jodi shrugged taking Xander from Stevie as they began to walk to inside,<br>"What do you mean you have no idea?" Tess asked frowning as they entered the back garden, although it wasn't much of a garden, but it was home,  
>"Well she left an hour ago in the Drover's Ute," Jodi said as Stevie opened the door to the laundry,<br>"Where would she have gone?" Tess asked as they continued through the laundry and kitchen to the stairs,  
>"Maybe where ever she went last night," Jodi suggested looking to Stevie as the followed Tess up the stairs,<br>"For the record she went to the pub last night, Race told me this morning," Stevie stated as they reached the landing, here they could see what extent Claire went to, to change the main bedroom. Tess dropped her bags and walked over to the door shocked,  
>"She's changed it back," Tess smiled, the mahogany bed and chestnut brown was a welcoming scene, it reminded her of her sister and her father so, so very much, Stevie and Jodi put Tess' things in her old bedroom, where Stevie usually slept,<br>"I'll camp at Killarny till all this blows over," Stevie stated taking Xander from Jodi's restless arms, another agonizing pregnancy symptom,  
>"Okay," Tess sighed thinking hard to where Claire would have gone, "I'm gonna go find her," Tess exclaimed walking quickly down the stairs, Jodi and Stevie followed close behind with the children,<br>"But Tess you just came from Argentina!" Stevie stated as Tess stopped in the kitchen,  
>"I'll be fine, just look after baby Claire for a bit," Tess said as she began to walk out of the house,<br>"Are you sure?" Stevie asked concerned,  
>"I'm sure, I just really gotta see Claire right now," and with that Tess left to look for Claire, something she thought's she'd never have to do.<p> 


	10. Chapter 10

Claire pulled up on the hill a grey tombstone on top, she opened the car door and grimaced, this can't be Alex, it just can't, it wasn't meant to turn out this way. She looked around her, the beautiful hills of Drover's spread till the horizon, she finally got back the pride, she used to have and the other hills of Killarny behind her, but still an unknown grave stood tall on the mountain. She sighed walking cautiously to it. Closing her eyes she took a deep breath her lungs filling with the sweet Drover's and Killarny air, but when she opened them she saw a sight she didn't want to see 'Alex Marion Ryan, Beloved Father and Husband, Greatly Missed but Never Forgotten' She burst into tears as she fell to her knee's, touching the photo of him, ever so lightly. He had gotten so handsome in his aging, he was gorgeous, but now he was gone. She have never got to say goodbye, to kiss him again_…."Alex, if anything happens to me, just know that I love you,"  
>"Nothing's going to happen to you Claire, we've got the rest of our lives together," <em>_…._ She lent on the side of the grave and sobbed the echo of them clear as the afternoon sun was hot on her back a feeling she hadn't felt for years. She sat up still trying to hold her tears, Alex was gone forever. Alex wanted children with her, he wanted to marry her, he wanted to live on Drover's with her, but he never got that chance, neither did Claire, she wiped her eyes, looking over Drover's a plan forming in her head,  
>"I love you Alex," She sighed kissing her two finger's before lightly pressing it on his picture. She got up still glancing from Drovers and Alex's grave, a devious plan coming to life in her head.<p>

Claire arrived back at Drover's pulling into the shed with a cloud of dust behind, she was about to run back into the house and compile her devious plan, when something caught her eye. The horses, Drover's Run still had horses; she smiled broadly remembering the old days, where she would gallop across the paddocks, her mind going blank as they raced at sound's speed. She got out of the car and walked over to the round yard, where she 5 years ago trained brumby after brumby. She looked around, 3 new horses were there, one's she had never seen before, but Oscar, Tess' first horse stood solid but old, his freckled eyes recognizing Claire straight away, he gave a gentle whinny. Claire chuckled slightly as she patted his forehead, but then her own horse, Eagle came through the herd, her smile broadened. He had gotten greyer, but he was still alive, she went through the wooden fence and wrapped her arms around his neck, never would she have done that 5 years ago. Eagle nuzzled her gently as another familiar pair of eyes and ears came looking for treat, Tucker was still tall and lanky as ever. Star and Buddy were gone though and replaces with a chestnut mare, bay mare and a brown gelding. Claire kissed Eagle as she glanced over to the tack; her saddle stood out from them all, the dirtiest. No one had touched it, she walked through the frisky group of horses, most of them sensing her vulnerability and steering clear. Claire ran her finger's along the warn, but strong leather. She smiled again, glancing over to Eagle and then back to the saddle, her heart yearned for the feeling of weightlessness made by riding high on a strong intelligent mammal and maybe it would give her some joy to her soul, now that Alex had taken half of it with him when he passed. She picked the saddle up and brushed the spiders and spider webs free; she'd never realized how heavy saddles actually were until she heaved both the blanket and saddle on Eagles back at once, he stood waiting for the bridle, he hadn't been ridden since Claire's departure, he wouldn't let anyone, but now his owner was back, he too got a shin back into his coat. Claire pulled the bridle on momentarily forgetting which way it was meant to go, but soon figured it out it all came flooding back, her horse sense was coming back. Maybe it would be easier to live with the brumbies; they were much simpler than humans. She pulled herself onto eagles back with great difficulty, after years of not riding her muscles pulled easily, but she didn't care she felt on top of the world as she pushed Eagle into a flying gallop out of the yards and out into the wide spaces. The wind made her hair billow behind like a flag. She felt alive, feeling the power of thundering hooves move under her, she got lost in the sound of rushing wind and galloping hooves.

Meanwhile Tess arrived not long after Claire left on her wild ride, her worry had increased, not only was Claire not at the pub, she wasn't even in town. The Drover's Ute was back, Tess ran into the house as soon as she saw that Claire was back, finally she could see her sister,  
>"Claire!" She yelled busting through the laundry door and into the kitchen. Stevie and Jodi looked up shocked and surprised,<br>"Did you find her?" Jodi asked as Stevie stood up promptly,  
>"She's here, the Utes back," Tess exclaimed breathless just from the little run, years of not riding had to put a toll on Tess,<br>"The Utes back?" Jodi asked now standing up,  
>"Yes agh!' Tess exclaimed rubbing her face harshly, "Where's her stuff?" Tess asked the look in her eye's told Stevie she wasn't kidding,<br>"In the main bedroom, why?" Jodi asked but Tess had left and her thumping footsteps where heard all the way up the stairs and into the bedroom. Jodi looked at Stevie confused, until Tess came rushing back in with Claire's bag,  
>"Tess! What are you doing?" Stevie asked as Tess began almost throwing all of Claire's things out,<br>"Looking," Tess sighed as she went through more and more clothes, old ones, sultry ones, modern ones. Jodi looked at the clothes, even by looking at them you could tell Claire had changed, there wasn't a work shirt in sight, "Found something!" Tess exclaimed in a victorious fashion as she pulled out a bundle of pictures and a news article. Tess pushed the clothes aside and sat at the kitchen table, so too did Jodi and Stevie,  
>"what are the photos of?" Jodi asked as Stevie pulled them from the ribbon,<br>"her old pictures," Stevie said sighing looking at the picture in her hand, Claire and Alex with Charlotte. Stevie sighed again Alex was so happy with Claire, maybe she had done the wrong thing, she handed the picture to Jodi, the guilt was too much. The next was of Charlotte as a baby with Claire cradling her, a wide smile plastered on her face, Claire getting pregnant had certainly started off as a nightmare, but turned out to be a wonderful love between the two. Stevie handed the picture to Jodi as Tess looked at the one Stevie had in her hands, which was of Tess and Claire as young girls, Claire only 7 and Tess about 5,  
>"Wow, when was that taken?" Stevie exclaimed looking at the next picture, Claire astride Eagle as a young woman only around 22,<br>"That was taken before I came back," Tess said taking the picture from Stevie hand as Jodi glanced at it. Tess scanned the picture, Claire was gorgeous, her sister was the lucky one, inheriting beauty and the brains. Jodi passed the next picture of Claire and her father Jack, Tess hadn't got much of her father's trait's apart from the stubbornness Claire got everything apart from the looks which she got from her mother,  
>"Wow that was a long time ago!" Jodi exclaimed seeing the picture of Claire in front of the Drovers Run sign, when it still had Australian Bloodlines on it, she placed it down as they looked at confusion at the last picture, of Claire in Peter's arms,<br>"Why would Claire still have a picture of Peter?" Jodi asked disgusted, she'd never liked him one bit,  
>"I dunno," Stevie frowned, but Tess smiled a sincere smile,<br>"Claire loved Peter," she sighed as Stevie and Jodi looked at her confused,  
>"He tried to kill her?" Jodi said rather rudely,<br>"Yes, but she loved him Jodi. He was the first man she ever loved, he will always he her first love, you never get over that," Tess said taking the picture and putting it down, of course Claire was an idiot to still love him, but he was after all her first love,  
>"What's the news article?" Stevie asked looking at it under Tess's elbow, she pulled it out and flattened it,<br>"What's the date on it?" Jodi asked holding onto the corner of the paper,  
>"Uh twenty sixth of January two thousand and nine," Tess said smoothing the wrinkled and ripped paper,<br>"What's on it?" Jodi asked, reading upside down wasn't exactly her forte,  
>"Fifteen year old shot by police," Tess read out, the tittle was accompanied by a picture of a young boy, his father and fleeing car,<br>"Why would Claire keep that?" Stevie asked looking up at Tess as they heard footsteps outside the laundry, followed by the door opening then slamming closed, it was Claire. Claire felt heartbroken but exhilarated her ride was amazing, but she paused as she turned into the kitchen, Tess. Claire furrowed her brow slightly; it sure was Tess older, but still Tess. Tess looked at Claire her mouth almost gapping, she'd changed so much her hair now as long as her own and her eyes looked dead, it shocked Tess to the bone,  
>"Claire?" Tess said almost inaudible,, Claire stood rooted to the ground, "I've missed you so much," Tess said getting up to hug Claire, but she stepped away and glanced at the kitchen table were her things lay scattered everywhere,<br>"What are you doing with my stuff?" She asked walking past Tess, to stuff her things back into the bag, Stevie and Jodi watched and waited,  
>"We didn't know where you were?" Tess said as Claire stood to look at her sister once more,<br>"You betray my Tess," Claire said heaving her bag over her shoulder, "You said you'd look after Charlotte and Alex," at this point Claire had noticed Stevie sitting at the kitchen table, she walked up and put her fist on the table, "I thought I asked you to get out," Claire hissed looking Stevie in the eye,  
>"Claire that's not.."<br>"Jodi Alex loved me! Stevie's second best and went behind my back," Claire yelled interrupting Jodi's peace offering. Tess watched in horror as Stevie shrugged and left promptly,  
>"Claire!" Tess stated as she went to grab Claire's arm, but Claire pulled away,<br>"Don't touch me Tess! I don't want you as my sister" Claire yelled before storming up the stairs, leaving Tess just as shell shocked as Jodi was yesterday.

Tess sat at the kitchen table, holding back her tears, from the fight with Claire. How could she say such a hurtful thing? _'__I don't want you as my sister'_,  
>"You okay Tess?" Jodi asked placing a caring hand on Tess',<br>"Bit shocked actually," She said smiling halfheartedly,  
>"So were me and Stevie," Jodi sighed placing her hand back around her warm cup of tea,<br>"I just don't know how she changed so much," Tess said shaking her head in disbelief, "You went on witness protection and your fine," Tess added taking a sip of coffee,  
>"Maybe it's still the old Claire, deep inside," Jodi said mysteriously,<br>"What do you mean?" Tess asked looking up from her coffee,  
>"Maybe she's bottling everything up, like she did when she broke up with Peter the first time and the second,"<br>"And the third," Tess added smiling,  
>"And the fourth," Jodi added smiling back, their sister made the record of going back to the same person again and again, "Maybe I should talk to her, before Grace and that come back?" Tess asked about to get up promptly,<br>"No point Tess there due back any minute now," Jodi sighed rolling he eyes as they heard the laundry door, waiting for Grace to appear they were shocked when Lachlan appeared,  
>"What are you doing here Lachlan?" Jodi asked as he stood by the door, dressed in his best attire which was a black buttoned shirt and jeans, the staple to any guys wardrobe in Gungellan,<br>"I'm looking for Claire," He said unaware that Claire had only been in town for not even 24 hours,  
>"What do you want my sister for?" Tess asked confused at how this guy even knew who Claire was,<br>"Ah Tess this is Lachlan he's a farm hand at Killarny," Jodi said sensing Tess's confusion,  
>"What do you want her for?" Tess asked standing up at the young man entered the kitchen,<br>"To go out," he answered in matter of fact way, Tess frown increased, why did this young guy want to go on a date with Claire, she was almost double his age, give or take a few years,  
>"Your using my sister?" Tess asked in disgust,<br>"No he's not!" was heard behind them it was Claire, showered and now looking for something to eat, the first time in almost 24 hours,  
>"Claire what are you doing with this boy?" Tess asked frowning as Claire walked straight past her to the fridge,<br>"None of your business," Claire nodded taking out a plate of fruit,  
>"Well I'm sorry Lachlan but you must have your wires crossed," Tess said about to escort him out of the house, when Claire grabbed Lachlan by his wrist,<br>"He's staying," Claire said in Tess's face and left the kitchen with a plate of fruit and Lachlan. Jodi watched in total amazement,  
>"What's that about?" Tess asked her voice getting agitated,<br>"I have no idea," Jodi said watching Tess pace a little before sitting down rather restlessly,  
>" How old is that boy?" Tess asked point to the direction of the stairs,<br>" Ah 19, why? You don't think Claire would..." Jodi trailed off it was shocking thinking her old boss would be a bit loose, let alone her old boss being her sister,  
>"I hope she's learnt her lesson about one night stands by now with the whole Peter thing," Tess stated rolling her eyes before resting her weary head on her arms. That's when Grace, Regan and Jaz burst through the laundry door, laughing and giggling until they saw Tess and her expression.<p>

"So what's with your sister?" Lachlan asked as he lay on the bed, Claire opposite him and the fruit in to middle,  
>"Over protective I guess," Claire said picking the fruit from her teeth,<br>"I really enjoyed the other night," Lachlan smiled, Claire smiled back she had to admit it was a good fun, very good fun. Lachlan lent over to kiss Claire, she kissed him back lightly still no sure whether she could go through with this now sober. Lachlan inched closer to her still kissing her, the sweet taste of strawberry on her lips. They parted to look into each other's eyes for a second, Claire frowned before her mouth was covered again with the lips of Lachlan and his hand travelling ever so fast up her side, Claire pulled away slightly still frowning, taking one last look into Lachlan's light blue eyes', she shook her head,  
>"I'm sorry I can't do this," she said as Lachlan took his hand from her waist, he looked at her slightly confused,<br>"What's wrong?"  
>"I can't do this Lachlan your half my age and Alex.." Claire trailed off, she didn't dare look into Lachlan's eyes,<br>"Claire Alex's gone, he's not coming back, you don't have to wait for him," Lachlan said cupping her cheek with his right palm, turning her head towards him. He kissed her twice lightly, Claire's body was over loaded the pain, the sorrow, the pleasure, the lust, god it was too much,  
>"I'm sorry I can't do this now, maybe later," She sighed taking the plate from the bed to put it on her bedside table, Lachlan got of the bed giving Claire on last passionate kiss. Lachlan closed the door behind him as Claire lay down, she was exhausted, why did everything exhaust her these days? She sighed before nuzzling up to the pillow, hugging it as she drifted off to sleep, slowly but surely.<p>

Tess stood at Claire's door looking at the chipping paint, worn and torn as she opened it with a creek, there she saw Claire laying there, Tess knew she wasn't asleep, sister's intuition weather Claire liked it or not . Claire felt Tess eyes on her as; she closed her eyes, as she heard Tess' footsteps get closer until she sat on the side of the bed. Tess sighed looking at her sister, she no longer saw Claire as a brave, strong, stubborn person, but a weak, fragile and uncontrollable one,  
>"Claire I'm so sorry," Tess sighed looking around the room, it was almost identical to the way it used too, causing a painful and fearful memory to come crashing back… <em>'Tess stared into Charlotte's blue eyes, she was so clueless to what had just happened, Tess glanced up to see Alex, his face stained with tears, Tess held Charlotte so tightly, she was the only thing left of her sister,<br>"They've taken her to the hospital," Tess said quietly as Alex shook his head in disbelief, his eyes filling with more tears, "She'll be in some room, somewhere" Charlotte smiled at Tess as she spoke, "Some cold room… I should have stayed with her, I should be with her," Tess sobbed as Alex looked over to Claire's bed, the red doona making the black velvet box and gold ring stand out. Tess looked up to Alex as Charlotte stared to grizzle, following his gaze she saw the ring, both Charlotte and Tess began crying as Alex exited the room, too painful to stay'…_ Tess shook herself everything was fine now Claire was alive right next to her in the flesh and blood,  
>"I'm sorry about Charlotte and me and Alex and Drover's it was just after two years of nothing, we figured Peter had found you and…" Tess sighed again, beginning to feel quiet awkward about talking to her sister about her own death, "It's a shame you didn't keep in contact though," Tess said stroking a strand of hair from Claire's face. Claire's eyes were still firmly shut as if trying to shut Tess out of her space, out of her bedroom and her life, "I've got a couple of things to tell you Claire," Tess stated feeling slightly anxious about the whole, breaking the news that Jodi was there sister and there cousins living at Drover's, "Jodi's our sister Claire," Claire's eyes flew open, Jodi was her what? But after thinking about it for a split second it made sense. Night after night she would here Meg sneak out of her father's room, Claire frowned how much more news was there? "And we have three cousin's Claire, Grace, Regan and Jaz, there living here at Drover's," Tess said as happily as she could. But her voice was shaky, due to Claire's uncontrollable attitude, god knows what she could do, it was just like looking after some moody teenager, "There down stairs if you want to meet them," Claire heard Tess say as she sunk into the pillow deeper. Tess sighed defeded, Claire hadn't changed one thing and that was her stubborn streak, an uneasy silence filled the room. Tess looked around the room again, swallowing hard and sighing hoping it would help her think of something to say, and she had just the thing! "Claire do you remember the week before you left?" she asked, there was no answer giving Tess the signal to keep going, "And I wrote that letter to Charlotte, because I thought I had breast cancer," Claire gained herself for another sorry story, she curled her lip slightly agitated, "And we had a fight but made up over Charlottes crib and I said that we had 'no past, we barely have a present?" She asked, but there was nothing, she prayed to god this would work to get Claire to open up, "That's why we're here, we can make up for the twenty years I was gone, for the four you were, your my sister Claire, we need to look out for each other, Jodi included," Tess said seeing the tension in Claire's jaw, "I want you to talk to me Claire, something's not right i can tell, whether you like it or not I'm still a McLod," Tess chuckled, in reference to hers and Claire's names they wrote on the office desk as children, 'Claire McLod, Tess McLod' Claire still remembered how Tess had got Drovers back and got their fathers desk back during her break up with Peter the first time. Claire sighed before rolling onto her back, looking into Tess eyes, which pleaded for the truth,<br>"what happened?" Tess asked shifting to give Claire room, taking a breath almost for courage, staring up at the ceiling Claire started,  
>"I was a cop, did cop things," she said, although I wouldn't have won a 'best detailed sentence award' it was a start, "But I still missed Drovers and Charlotte and you and Alex," Tess saw the hurt enter Claire's glazed eyes, "I turned to alcohol, sex, I slept with my boss and a corrupt cop, " Claire sighed, grimacing ever so slightly, "I went to get cocaine for him but I was caught," Claire said as she looked at Tess reluctantly. Tess looked at Claire shocked her sister would do such a thing! The straight talking Claire that never even got a speeding fine was dappling with drugs, "I went to Melbourne, it was horrible," Claire saw Tess frown in the corner of her eye as she stared up at the ceiling, "I couldn't bare having all those memories of Alex and Charlotte, i got drunk and made a horrible mistake," Claire shook her head, grimacing at the emotional pain that came washing over her, "I went home with a guy, David he had a son, Jason," Tess's eyes opened wide,<br>"The news article?" Tess asked lightly, Claire nodded as she paused, needing to burst into tears, but she held it in as best she could, "David used to beat us, and then at night... at night when he was drunk or stoned or if I was, he tried to force himself on me Tess," Claire said as tears streamed down to her hair line, Tess sighed in distress as she grabbed Claire's hand, she was shaking,  
>"What happened after Melbourne?" Tess inquired, stroking her thumb on Claire's hand. Claire looking to the ceiling again as she sat up,<br>"I went to Cape Jaffa with Rob,"  
>"Rob?" Tess asked still her caring hand of Claire's fragile hand,<br>"He was in witness protection too, but I didn't want to do it anymore Tess, I went to find Peter," Claire sniffled as she looked to Tess, who looked on eager for more information, "But I never got there the hit man found me," Claire sobbed lightly, "I thought I was dead," she added shaking her head in grief,  
>"Why?"<br>"The hit man forced himself on me like David did and he had a gun to my throat, but Neil came,"  
>"Neil?" Tess interrupted, which was for the best as Claire had time to regain a little composure,<br>"He's my officer, The hit man had the gun to my throat , but Neil shot him. Tess he died on me!" Claire said as more tears streaked her check, Tess watched in horror, sadness and shock, what a horrible thing it must have been, she had never seen her sister cry this much, not even as children, "There was blood everywhere," Claire grieved,  
>"Uh Claire," Tess gushed completely shell shocked before embracing her sister into a hug, Claire held Tess tightly it felt as if a weight was lifted from her shoulders, to finally tell someone the pain she went through physically and mentally, but it still hurt,<br>"Claire I'm gonna stay here with you as long as you need okay?" Tess said rocking her sister gently as they hugged, not wanting to let go after so long,  
>"What about Nick?" Claire questioned parting from Tess,<br>"Well his contract in Argentina is almost over, I think it's time to come home don't you?" Tess smiled, Claire smiled back at her sister's contagious smile, Tess had brought so much fun and laughter into Claire's life, but it wasn't until now she actually noticed, "Oh and I have something to show you," Tess exclaimed still smiling, trying to take Claire's mind off her traumatic experience, for now. Claire frowned but still had a playful smirk of her lips, that's what Tess was waiting for the cheeky mysterious smile of Claire's, all she wanted now was the gutsy bold laugh the old Claire had, it would come in time,  
>"Come on," Tess said grabbing Claire's hand a taking her to Charlottes old room where baby Claire lay sleeping. Claire looked at Tess strangley until she saw the two year old fast asleep her frown was relaced with a smile,<br>"She's gorgeous Tess, What's her name?" Claire asked taking the todler's hand into her own, the soft skin reminding Claire so much of Charlotte it hurt, but hurt in a good way she'd get her little 'BOM' back with the help of Tess,  
>"Her names Claire," Tess smiled as Claire looked up at Tess touch her sister had done such a wonderful thing. There was a silence between the two as Claire stroked the little girls hand, her blonde curles almost exact to Tess's when she was younger. Tess watched Claire with baby Claire and knew she had to get Charlotte back, asap!<br>"So Annie Oakley, how do you like your hair?" Tess asked chuckling, Claire looked up at Tess and smiled as she took a handful of her hair,  
>"It's good, but much rather it shorter," she said as she twirled it between her fingers,<br>"I'll take you to town tomorrow," Tess smiled wrapping her arm around her sister, this was how it was ment to be happy and fun, "Well dinner's nearly ready, so if you wanna come down and meet averyone?" Tess suggested as she began to walk out of the room, Claire replced her hand back in baby Claire's hand,  
>"I'll be down in a minute," Claire replied looking over the todler, Tess smiled before leaving Auntie and Niece alone. Tess made her way down the stairs, into the kitchen were Jodi, Grace, Regan and Jaz waited axiously,<br>"How is she?" Jodi asked, the four of them had waited anxiously on edge for almost half an hour, for a noise, a yell, something,  
>"She's fine, She's coming down for tea," Tess said making her way over to her signature dish. It was Moroccan lamb, "And I'd cut her some slack too," Tess added as she carried the large orange pot into the hallway, Grace, Regan, Jodi, and Jaz following closely,<br>"Why?" Regan asked as they entered the dining room, making themselves comfortable as they heard footsteps down the stairs,  
>"I'll tell you later," Tess whispered as Claire anxiously made her way into the dining room. Grace was the first to see her, once thinking she would be the one to loose Drover's Grace looked up to Claire, the first female owner. Regan smiled, she was what all the fuss was about, her renowned cousin Claire McLeod. Jaz watched as Claire sat at the head of the table, this was the woman that Alex was grieving over four years ago, when she came looking for Tess, she could now she the reason. Claire looked up fearful of unwanted eye contact but she had to say something!<br>"I just want to say, I'm sorry," she sighed as Tess dished the plates out, the four of them watched Claire carefully, "I'm sorry for everything I've done and Jodi I'm happy," Claire paused her words were getting caught up, it felt so awkward to initially come back from the dead, "I'm happy your our sister," Claire added smiling at Jodi, who smiled back sighing a weight was definitely lifted off her shoulders now. Claire turned her gaze to the three woman on her right,  
>"Ah Claire this is Grace," Tess said sitting down next to Jodi,<br>"Hi," Grace stated smiling, Claire smiled back as reply, it was going to take some time to adjust to all of this,  
>"I'm Regan, it's great to finally meet you," Regan said smiling too, Tess and Jodi watched as the family reunion continued with Claire again smiling as a reply to Regan and then again after Jasmine said her long awaited hello to her oldest cousin. Claire looked down at her plate as they started to eat, her first proper meal since Fischer, but come to think of it she hadn't had a meal like this in years, she looked up and caught Tess' worried stare, Claire smiled picking up he fork, reassuring her sister everything was okay. It was about time she got back to her old ways, starting with eating right, cutting her hair and being boss again, it almost exhilarated her just thinking about it.<p> 


	11. Chapter 11

The table was full with a satisfying and content silence after a lengthy conversation on their childhood, causing the house to erupt in laughter every so often. Claire sat back finally things were working out even though her heart still yearned for Alex and Charlotte, but she had Drovers, her sister's and her cousin's,  
>"When are we going to see you in the saddle again Claire?" Jodi asked resting her hand on her stomach, as the rest of the table sat back relaxing from there meal of Moroccan Lamb and extra helpings of ice-cream, the McLeod's speciality,<br>"Tomorrow, back to the way it used to be," Claire answered smiling. Tess watched her sister carefully although Claire joined in, there was still a distance, and it was going to take a while for the old Claire to come back completely. Tess would have to stay for good or at least a couple of years, she didn't mind coming back to Drovers and seeing her sisters and cousins was great, it was her home, her hearts sanctuary, "I might call it a night," Claire smiled pushing her plate and chair simultaneously, The others looked up at Claire and smiled,  
>"Night," they all chirped before they watched Claire sauntered up the stair and out of ear range,<br>"So what happened?" Jodi asked not wasting any time to find out the gossip. Tess sighed as she collected the plates, Grace, Regan and Jaz helping her,  
>"Look Jod's just cut her some slack, okay?" Tess said quietly as she emptied the plate she held,<br>"But why?" Jodi pried she still hadn't changed from wanting to know the ins and out of every piece of news and gossip,  
>"She just went with the wrong crowd, drugs, alcohol," Tess said walking out of the dining room to the kitchen, hoping that would finish the conversation, but Jodi came waddling after them,<br>"Claire did drugs?" Jodi exclaimed as she stood leaning against the table as the three girls and Tess began washing the dishes and,  
>"Jodi I think its best we don't talk about it, for Claire's sake," Grace added as she dried a plate. Jodi sighed defeated she'd have to find out later,<br>"I'm Claire's sister why didn't she tell me?" Jodi pipped in, her hormones getting the best of her aggravated side,  
>"Jodi, She's only just found out," Tess said her voice louder the she expected,<br>"Give her time Jod's," Regan said as she wiped her hands on the towel. Jodi walked out of the kitchen in need of a shower and rest. Not having Mat here exhausted her, but he'd be home tomorrow and hopefully the truth about Claire will come out, she smiled as she shut the bathroom door behind her.

"Please Nick," Tess pleaded on the phone after a detailed report on Claire. Tess wanted Nick to come home, live at Wilgul, help Marcus, help Claire; after all he was meant to marry her. Nick sighed,  
>"I still have a month of work to go through Tess," he complained, Tess frowned as she looked across the pictures in the study, Jodi, Alex, Stevie, Grace, herself,<br>"Nick please I'm not leaving her," Tess said gripping the phone tightly as the line began to break up, Nick sighed again,  
>"Alright fine! I'll finish up tonight. Pass it onto Stephan and then I'll come straight away, okay?" Nick finally gave into his wife's pressuring a thing he hated to love and loved to hate,<br>"Thank you so much Nick," Tess exclaimed eagerly, her whining actually worked, but then again it always did,  
>"I'll see you tomorrow," Nick said smiling to himself, he would be back home to Wilgul, to Killarny. Where he would be with his wife and their daughter, that always brought a smile to his face,<br>"Yep," Tess smiled broadly before it faded, "Nick please be careful," Tess warned not wanting another scare like he gave her three years ago, when she thought he died in a plane accident,  
>"I will, I love you and baby Claire," Nick said as the line again began to break up. Tess stopped for a moment taking the phone away from her ear as she heard someone in the hallway, "Tess?" Nick questioned, "Tess are you there?"<br>"Ah yeah, sorry Nick. I love you too and I can't wait to see you," Tess said breaking free of her terrified but curious trance at the study door,  
>"Love you too, bye." Nick said as the line broke. Tess lingered on the phone till she was sure Nick was gone, she put it down lightly to go inspect the suspicious goings on. Making her way to the door she reluctantly opened it with a breath of fear, only to realise the sound was now outside. She crept through the hallway and out to the veranda,<br>"Claire?" she asked as she peaked her head around the door. Claire turned sharply surprised by Tess sneaking around,  
>"Tess what are you doing up?" Claire asked hiding the can of alcohol she had taken, Tess would surely blow a gasket if she knew Claire was drinking at the godly hour in the morning,<br>"I rang Nick," Tess smiled making her way next to Claire, that's when she noticed the can, "Claire! What are you doing?" Tess asked frowning,  
>"Helps me relax," Claire sighed as she took a swig from it, Tess looked at her as she brought it to her lips and back, it almost made her feel sick,<br>"Why are you stressed? Your home," Tess stated as she gazed up at Claire as she looked over the shearing sheds in the distance, Claire shook her head and shrugged downing another mouthful,  
>'Claire you have to talk about it, You can't bottle it up remember," Tess said resting a reassuring hand on Claire arm, Claire looked down at Tess, she was right, Claire did need to talk, but she felt so weak when she did,<br>"I still feel like I'm on witness protection," Claire sighed, "I still fear that someone is out there, that I going to get caught again," Claire admitted taking larger mouthfuls of alcohol, Dutch courage.  
>"But you not, your home," Tess said wrapping her arm around Claire, the cold bitterness of the morning seething its way through the two,<br>"I know but it just doesn't register," Claire said taping her head annoyed at how weak she really was under her tough exterior,  
>"It will eventually," Tess smiled before resting her head on Claire's shoulder as they looked up to the stars, there stars they had names all those years back. There was a silence as they listened to the crickets chirp and the moths and harvest beetles buzz by their ears. This was what Claire needed, fresh air of Drovers, peace and quiet,<br>"So what are you gonna' do about Lachlan?" Tess asked breaking her silence with a smug grin on her face, Claire groaned before looking to Tess,  
>"he's a bit young isn't he," she said with a smile, Tess nodded chuckling to herself lightly, "What am I gonna' do?" Claire sighed as she took the last mouthful of her drink, much to Tess' relief,<br>"Do you like him?" Tess asked again a smug grin on her face, Claire groaned again with a grimace,  
>"No,"<br>"Well just say you need time to grieve over Alex," Tess suggested, her sister had definitely put her foot in it, with Lachlan,  
>"I thought I'd never see him again," Claire said placing her can on the outdoor table, Tess smiled as she gazed back to the shearing sheds, "I thought it would take my mind of Alex an Charlotte and you, but when we were..,"<br>"Wow,' Tess interrupted Claire with a raised hand, "No details please," Tess giggled, Claire laughed as she shook her head,  
>"I wasn't going too, don't worry," Claire stated as she slung her arm around Tess's neck<br>"Good," Tess said as she shook her head amused. Again there was a silence the sound of the spare bedroom clock could be hear through the window as well as the rustling on the leaves and in the distance the bleat's of sheep every now and again. Claire took a lung full of Drovers air, the sweet smell of harvest was around the corner, she couldn't wait to get back in the saddle…again.


	12. Chapter 12

Tess hurried up the stairs, baby Claire on her hip as she abruptly walked into Claire's room, where she lay fast asleep. Tess walked over to her and pulled the covers off,  
>"Come on, move your bum," Tess chirped, Claire rolled over to face Tess, she still hadn't caught up on all her sleep, but she had a good excuse for getting up early today, today would be her first day back at work. She sat up and stretched as Tess stood impatiently waiting for Claire to get out of bed,<br>"I'm coming Tess," Claire yawned as she swung her legs out of the bed, she rubbed her eye, still they were heavy with fatigue,  
>"Breakfast is ready," Tess said before leaving Claire to get dressed, not that she had many clothes in her wardrobe. Tess had given most of them away after thinking her sister was dead, but there were two shirts left, a blue and a red work shirt, her checker jacket was also hung in the corner. Her jeans wouldn't fit her anymore, after losing weight she had to stick to her dress jeans. Claire made her way down the stairs to the kitchen, where the crew was situated: Jodi and Mat, Grace, Regan, Jaz, Tess and baby Claire. Claire sat down next to Jaz, it was still awkward having your cousin you've only just met in the same house, but after all they were McLeod's they had every right to live here,<br>"Once we've had breakfast I want Grace, Regan and Jaz to muster the cattle from skinny Jims, me and Claire will go to town for supplies and Mat are you free?" Tess asked giving her order's firmly. Claire felt even more out of her depths, she was always the one giving orders, never taking them, especially from her little sister,  
>"Yep all yours," Mat smiled as Tess went through the list of jobs,<br>"Do you think you could get the truck load of sheep from Neil Thompson's?" Tess asked as she took a piece of toast, Claire followed suit taken two pieces, Mat nodded,  
>"Alright well we better get going," Grace stated taking the last mouthful of her coffee, her two sisters followed her out the door,<br>"As for you, I've got a surprise," Tess said pointing at Claire with a devious smile, Claire smiled back intrigued, gifts already! She followed Tess up the stairs as Jodi made her way to baby Claire and the dishes, Mat off to Thompsons,  
>"I thought this might help," Tess said as they walked up the stairs,<br>What might help?" Claire asked frowning as they entered Tess' bedroom, Claire stood eager at the end of Tess' bed,  
>"They wanted to bury this with your coffin, but I stopped them," Tess stated as she turned around with Claire's old grey felt hat, Claire smiled her old hat she had worn for years, which had seen her through a million days of summer, winter, love and heartbreak and even the birth of Charlotte. Claire took the hat in her hands and put it on, it just felt right. Tess smiled as Claire tucked her long strands of hair behind her ears,<br>"Thanks Tess," Claire smiled embracing her sister, they parted and Tess' smiled turned to a worried look, Claire furrowed her brow at Tess's caginess,  
>"What's wrong?" she asked as Tess stood somehow glued to the floor with worry,<br>"I think you should have this," Tess said turning back to her cupboard and pulled out a black felt box, Claire's frowned to turned a curious glare, Tess handed the box to her, "It's your engagement ring," Tess said as Claire finally came to terms with what she held in her hands. It was her only link to Alex; she opened the box star struck. Her mouth gapped as she saw the diamond encrusted gold band, she gently picked it up between her fingers it felt so fragile; she slipped it onto her finger. Tess watched as her sister was for once lost for words, the ring really did suit her,  
>"It's gorgeous," Claire smiled admiring it on her hand, but she sighed. She missed out of Alex's proposal, his kiss, him putting the ring on her finger, she missed him so much. Tess saw a grimace come across her sister's face, a feeling of guilt hit her, had she done the wrong thing by giving the ring to Claire,<br>"Alex," Claire sighed containing her tears as she kissed the ring, before slipping it off,  
>"You're not going to wear it?" Tess asked as they began to walk out of her room, Claire began to put the ring back in the soft felt box,<br>"Not yet, I need a little more time," Claire said as she placed the ring on the cupboard as they passed her room. Tess nodded as she took Claire's arm and walked down the stairs, "And I don't want to lose it," Claire added as they continued out the door,  
>"Stevie put hers on a necklace," Tess stated as they made their way down the path out to the driveway. The sun warmed through their shirts and smell of dust circled them as they opened the doors to the Ute. Tess felt the tension rise when she mentioned Stevie, by accident of course, "Claire she was your friend, she wouldn't have done that to hurt you," Tess said as they got into the Ute, Claire slammed her door shut, even thinking about Stevie made her blood boil, "she didn't know you were coming back, we all didn't," Tess added quietly as she started the Ute and reversed. Claire sat quietly, stewing over her bad luck in love,<br>"I can't stand looking at that baby," Claire said through gritted teeth,  
>"What Xander?"<br>"Yes Xander, he looks so much like Alex," Claire snapped as she glanced across the paddocks, to the sheep and cattle, they had such an easy life, eat and sleep all day,  
>"Well you should celebrate it Claire, for Alex, he'd want you to do that," Tess said turning off at the driveway, the gravel could be heard as it flicked up against the Ute. Claire was quiet for a moment, Tess was right Alex would want her to do that, but it was just so painful to see what should have been hers, she blinked her eyes hard as she looked to Tess,<br>"Once we're done in town I'll go see Stevie," Claire said rather emotionless, Tess smiled her feats of grovelling were getting fantastic results, "But I can't guarantee anything," Claire added pointing at Tess. Tess rolled her eyes rather comically,  
>"You haven't changed one bit Claire McLeod," Tess said glancing to Claire as she smiled.<p>

Tess lent on the side of the Ute as she waited patiently for Claire to come out from the hairdresser, it wasn't long before she did. Claire walked out of the hairdressers, now she really felt like the old Claire. Tess smiled broadly, that was Claire through and through, it was at that point Tess actually came to terms with the whole thing. Her sister Claire was actually right in front of her,  
>"I'm driving," Claire said as she walked around the back of the Ute, flashing a mischievous smile to Tess, who laughed,<br>"Do you still know where Killarny is?" Tess asked joking around as they did their belts up, Claire glanced at her through playful eyes,  
>"Of course I do," She replied turning the key,<br>"Looks like you don't have to go after all" Tess interrupted seeing Stevie pull up a few cars ahead of them. Claire wasn't feeling cocky and confident now; she'd rather just ignore Stevie. Tess could tell that, by the look of Claire's face,  
>"Off you go," Tess chirped cocking her head towards Stevie who was getting out of her Ute. Claire sighed as she opened the door, she really didn't want to do this, she even contemplated running across the street and bailing, but Tess would never let her live it down,<br>"Claire," Stevie exclaimed surprised seeing Claire walk up to her reluctantly, she smiled as she looked up at Stevie. They held there stare for a few seconds, judging each other carefully, "Look I don't know what you've been through, but I'm sorry," Stevie admitted as she leant against her Ute, "I never meant to hurt you," She added as Claire took her stare from Stevie to the ground below her boots, the dirty gravel seemed to calm her down a bit,  
>"I'm sorry," Claire sighed as she glanced back up to Stevie she didn't truly mean it, but after all Alex would have wanted the two to work together to remember him,<br>"So am I," Stevie smiled, Claire smiled slightly as she looking off into the distance were she caught the glimpse of the pub, reminding her of the day she had lost everything, the day that changer her life and herself forever,  
>"If you want to come back," Claire suggested , she was trying her best, not to erupt in fits of anger at how rude and selfish Stevie was to take Alex, to change her room, but she'd better keep the piece,<br>"I'd love to," Stevie smiled up at Claire,  
>"Well there's no room's left in the house, but there's still the cottage," Claire stated as she fiddled with her nails, a habit she had kept all these years, when she was reluctantly nervous,<br>"Sounds good, thanks," Stevie answered smiling back at Claire. Tess watched carefully she could see the tension in Claire's shoulders and Stevie facial expression, Stevie was smiling so that was a start. She rested her head on her hand and that's when an awkward hug was seen. Tess smiled to herself, again she was victorious. Claire walked back to the Ute as quickly as she could without running; she jumped in the Ute and shut the door,  
>"See I told you it wasn't that bad," Tess smiled still on a high from her victories these last couple of days, Claire nodded rather flushed,<br>"Right well I'm driving, I have something to show you," Tess said as she got out from the car and swapped with Claire, her smile increasing by the minute. Tess drove off quickly, Claire was still struggling with the belt when they reached the Fisher turn off,  
>"Tess Drovers is back there," Claire said as she glanced up and saw the sign,<br>"I know," Tess exclaimed elated, the last instalment of Claire's life was about to happen. Claire started to worry a bit, but didn't admit it she felt weak and vulnerable enough. The roads weren't busy so it only took them half an hour to get there. The summer sun had gotten almost to boiling point as Tess pulled up to a house. Claire looked out the window to the house then back to Tess,  
>"What are we doing?" Claire asked strangely as she glanced back to the house, Tess got out from the car a smile still plastered on her face. She knocked on Claire's window as she looked around, almost dreading for a moment being here,<br>"Where are we?" Claire asked as Tess opened the door and led Claire through the garden,  
>"In Fisher," Tess answered joyfully, Claire rolled her eyes, of course they were in Fisher,<br>"I know that!" Claire said rather annoyed, she didn't get a straight forward answered, but in seconds Claire would get answer, the answer to at least some happiness. Tess knocked on the wooden door; Claire was about to object and walk away when she heard footsteps, she still didn't take her confused stare from Tess's face, still plastered with a smile. The door opened slowly, it was killing Claire, all this waiting. Claire's breath got caught in her throat as the door opened fully, her expression was now one of panic,  
>" Hello Claire," the woman said as Tess watched on closely, her sister was shell shocked. Claire's breathing quickening as fear bolted through ever vein she had,<br>"Tess," she said as she glanced away and then back to the woman she recognised as Julia, Peter's wife. She didn't know where to look or what to do,  
>"Claire it's alright, she's not going to tell," Tess assured Claire with a gentle hand on her back. Claire was lost for word's as she scanned Julia, this was as close as she had ever been to Peter's wife,<br>"Did you want to come inside?" Julia asked as she smiled. Claire was still lost in the moment of fear and shock. Claire didn't know where to look, this was the woman she envied for so long, she looked back to Julia, catching her eye though was a little girl who peaked her head around the corner. Claire felt Tess usher her inside, but she was to fixated on the shy young girl as she walked forward, a smile appeared on the girls face,  
>"Auntie Tess!" She squealed as she ran past Julia and into the arms of Tess,<br>"Hey BOM," Tess smiled, Claire looked in she felt hot tears, dare to streak from her eyes, her breath getting caught again, that was her daughters, that was Charlotte, she was there, she was so grown up,  
>"Auntie Julia never told me your where coming," Charlotte smiled as Tess put her down. Claire looked up to Julia, Charlotte hadn't called her mum, which must mean Charlotte knew, wouldn't it? Charlotte was lost in the excitement of seeing her auntie Tess, almost ignoring the tall strange, but somehow familiar woman next to her auntie, but she looked up at Claire and held her stare, she squinted her eyes slightly as she furrowed her brow,<br>"Charlotte do you remember how we told you your mum had to go somewhere," Tess said as Charlotte reluctantly broke the stare from Claire, Claire when weak at the knees, she knew, Charlotte knew! Charlotte nodded eagerly,  
>"well she's come back Charlotte," Julia said as Claire looked bewildered at her daughter, she had grown up so much, she was eight and so tall. Charlotte turned around automatically, noticing the strange but then again familiar woman as her mother, every child knew their mother, and Claire had the presents of a mother,<br>"Mum?" Charlotte asked frowning as she looked up to Claire, she then turned back to Tess for reassurance, and Tess nodded. Claire smiled as she knelt down to be eye level with her daughter, her eyes the brightest blue she'd ever seen,  
>"Hey BOM," Claire smiled victoriously, Charlotte smiled, she recognised the voice, the voice that carried her one week shy of eight months and the voice that nurtured her as a baby,<br>"Mum," Charlotte stated smiling, she was still hesitant, Claire's smiled increased before she embraced her daughter, her own flesh and blood. Charlotte wrapped her arms around her mother's neck, the smell she remembered clearly, vanilla and frangipani,  
>"Why don't you come inside," Julia smiled as she and Tess watched mother and daughter.<p>

Claire sat on Charlotte's bed, her bedroom lit brightly by blues and pinks. Minutes had passed by filled with question after question from the young bright eyed girl, until there was a silence in as Charlotte took out a pictures frame,  
>"Aunties Julia said Dad went somewhere too," Charlotte said handing the picture to Claire. It was of her and Peter when they were going out,<br>"Where did you get this from Charlotte?" Claire asked grimacing at the picture, how could she have been so blinded by love to see he was a sleaze,  
>"I stole it from Dad's things,' Charlotte giggled as she sat next to Claire, "Where did you go mum?" She asked her eye's the bluest of blue staring up at Claire's own,<br>"Everywhere," Claire answered handing the picture back to Charlotte,  
>"Like America?" Charlotte asked with joy, Claire laughed,<br>"No, I went to Sydney, Melbourne and Adelaide," Claire answered smiling back her the young girl, almost a spitting image of herself when she was eight, minus the blonde hair. Tess and Julia were seated in the dining room, giving mother and daughter some bonding time. Tess took the last sip of her coffee,  
>"I suppose Claire will want Charlotte now," Julia stated with an upset sigh, although she hated Peter and Claire for having an affair behind her back and getting pregnant, Charlotte had become a part of own family, especially when she saw Natalie, now at boarding school and Alana now at high school, bond and play with her,<br>"Well she is Claire's daughter,' Tess answered as lightly as she could. Julia nodded as they walked to Charlotte's bedroom; her chatter was heard as well as a giggle, from mother and daughter. Tess opened the door slowly and walked in, Julia followed as Claire looked up to Tess, pleading with her to give her more time with her daughter,  
>"Charlotte would you like to stay at Drovers for a while?" Tess asked, Claire's worried expression, filling with joy, she glanced back to Charlotte her face lit by the mid-morning sunlight and a wide smile,<br>"Yes please!" Charlotte jumped up quickly before sitting back down; she was definitely a handful, just like her mother,  
>"We'll help you pack while your Auntie Julia gets your bags," Tess said kneeling besides Charlotte and Claire, Tess grabbed Claire's leg and squeezed it reassuringly, Claire took Tess's hand with a smile, everything was finally going right, things were falling into place. The warm sunlight beat heavy through the lace curtains as Charlotte's life was once again packed up, but this time for good.<p> 


	13. Chapter 13

Tess glanced back to Charlotte in the back of the Ute, her smile hadn't moved as she watched the golden crops pass by, the horses and cattle, she was home. Even though it was only lunch, Tess had slowly witnessed Claire fall fast asleep as she drove. Charlotte had giggled to herself, watching her mother sleep…_."Close your eyes," Alex chuckled as he covered Claire's eyes with his hand, she swatted it away,  
><em>_"What's going on?" She asked smiling back at Alex,  
>"Close your eyes and you'll find out," Alex smiled putting his hand back over her eyes and another on her waist as he guided her across the landing, the floor boards creaking loudly with age,<br>"Alex what are you doing?" Claire asked as she held her hands out, not trusting Alex fully, after letting her fall up the stair's only seconds ago, "Can I look yet?" She asked getting impatience as Alex positioned her at the side on her bed. He glanced at the ring on Claire's pillow, it was perfect. The musty smell of wood and horses, accompanied by the orange shardes of light from the sunset, so romantic,  
>"Okay open them," Alex smiled taking his hand from Claire's eyes, she opened her eyes eagerly, she frowned not noticing anything until the light caught one of the diamantes on the ring, her mouth dropped, she was speechless, "Claire I've always loved you. Every time I look into your eyes," Alex sighed as he walked past Claire and took the ring from the box, he looked to Claire's eyes, they glinted with hope and passion, "Every time I look into your gorgeous eyes I never want to look away," Alex knelt before Claire as she raised her hand to her mouth, was Alex Ryan about to do what Claire had hoped for all these years,<br>"Claire Louise McLeod, will you marry me?" Alex asked holding the ring between his fingers, Claire laughed, holding back from crying as she took her had away from her mouth and into Alex's waiting hand,  
>"Yes…yes," She gushed before Alex slipped the ring on her finger, his touch was soft as velvet and the ring like felt,<br>"I love you Claire," Alex exclaimed as he rose to his feet and kissed her, she went weak at the knee's in a very unlike Claire way as his lips caressed her own, like magic. Every kiss there was a spark of passion, a spark of forever….' _Claire awoke with a start, as Tess shook her,  
>"Claire are you alright?" Tess asked as she ducked her head into the Ute, Claire looked around frantically, where on earth was she, she looked to her hand and grabbed it, the ring, it was meant to be there, "Claire are you coming?" Tess asked shaking Claire from her frantic motions,<br>"Ah yeah," Claire replied looked around , holding her finger lightly were the ring was meant to be, it felt so real, so right. Claire followed Tess only a few steps before curiosity got the better of her,  
>"Where was Alex going to propose?" she asked stopping dead in her tracks, Tess turned a look of confusion on her face,<br>"Uh he had the ring in your bedroom why?" Tess asked as they continued through the sheds to the horse yards, Claire stopped again, her dream was identical; "You had a dream didn't you?" Tess asked as she spun around again, Claire nodded still holding her hand, where she still felt the presents of the ring. Tess took her arm around Claire and led her to the cattle; work would surely tire her out to much for dreams.

Charlotte's breathing settled as she nuzzled into Claire, falling asleep on her lap. Tess and baby Claire accompanied them as well as Jaz, Regan, Grace, Jodi, Mat, Stevie and Xander. Tess watched Claire carefully, watching her alcohol count, although Claire knew perfectly well what she was doing, now she had Charlotte she had no better reason to clean up her act a little,  
>"Tess wasn't Nick supposed to come in today?" Regan asked as she put her empty beer bottle down on the concert, cause all three children to stir from their sleep,<br>"Yeah," Tess said with worry,  
>"Don't worry Tess, I'm sure he's fine," Stevie said resting a reassuring hand on Tess' cold arm,<br>"I think I might hit the hay," Jaz said yawning, Regan nodded her head in agreeance, their eyes all heavy after an exhausting day of cattle and sheep drenching,  
>"What is the time?" Tess asked looking over to Claire who still always had a watch handy,<br>"Eleven thirty," Claire read out quietly, not wanting to wake her precious flesh and blood, the first time she had watched her daughter sleep after leaving,  
>"Wow that late already?" Grace exclaimed getting up and following her sister's into the house, but the sound of a car stopped them in their tracks. The eight of them stared into the darkness where the noise came from until footsteps where heard, the unmistakable footsteps with a limp, it was Nick,<br>"Nick!" Tess exclaimed running up to him, baby Claire asleep in her arms,  
>"Hey," Nick smiled kissing Tess, until Claire caught his eye, he though this whole thing was a setup, a lie, but there she was, it brought a smile to his face,<br>"Claire," He smiled walking up to her,  
>"G'day Nick," She said as he kissed her on the cheek,<br>"Tell you the truth I thought you were dead," he chuckled as he parted from her, Claire frowned amused at his straight forward ways,  
>"Gee thanks, but you can't get rid of me that easily," she retorted, before he greeted the rest of the crew, they all left for the comforts of inside soon after, leaving Claire and Charlotte, Tess, Nick and baby Claire,<br>"I think I might go unpack," Nick said kissing Tess and taking his baby girl from Tess' arms, she nodded as he left the two sister. Claire stood up slowly, Charlotte still half asleep on her shoulder, she weighed a tonne but it was a small price to pay for feeling her small heart beat over Claire's own. Tess glanced at Claire, they both smiled before looking up into the black of night, spotting there stars. Tess frowned with curiosity at Claire, she couldn't wait any longer to ask this,  
>"Don't get offended," Tess warned as Claire looked at her questioningly, "But you never got pregnant to any of those guys did you?" Tess asked cautiously, Claire looked a bit shocked, not knowing where on earth that came from,<br>"No," She laughed, "It's a wonder you didn't find my arsenal of morning after pills, when you went through my things," Claire smiled at her little sister's curious ways. Tess looked away embarrassed she got caught going through Claire's things the other day, "Why did you go through my bag?" Claire asked heaving Charlotte up as she sighed,  
>"I wanted to help you, that's all," Tess said resting her hand on Claire's back watching Charlotte drift in and out of her peaceful sleep,<br>"Sorry I was such a bitch," Claire said smiling at Tess as she rested against Claire's arm,  
>"It's alright, you have every right to. You've been through a lot Claire," Tess exclaimed as they heard footsteps behind them,<br>"What are you guys doing?" Jodi asked about to shut the three out of the house,  
>"Having a sisterly chat, you wanna join," Tess asked as Jodi waddled out to the veranda next to Claire. They all smiled at each other, the McLeod sisters and what a bunch they were, feisty, stubborn, heartbreakers yet still heartbroken, strong, rebellious and always ready to fight. They stood together as they watched a shooting star shoot its way across the clear skies of Drover's Run, a sign they didn't yet know about, a sign that everything was going to work out eventually.<p> 


End file.
